My First Running Blog!

(Insert nervous giggle here.)

As of last Thursday, I'm officially on Summer Break from school (hallelujah)! I actually decided to take this week off before I jump back into the "workout" routine, as I really could've used some laziness. But by "routine," I mean nothing. This semester totally threw me out of my routine to the point that Zumba class or any form of exercise was very minimal (or just nonexistent). I've only been losing weight by watching what I eat and staying as active as I could, walking on breaks, taking the stairs vs. the elevator, etc. I really hate it, because I know how much better I personally feel before/during/after a workout. My mood is better, anxiety is less; just all-around feeling better!

As of next week, I plan to start a Couch to 5k program (or C25K) using an app program, leading up to The Color Run Indy July 20. It's coincidentally 9 weeks until then starting next week, while the C25K is a 9 week program... (Hmmmmm...)

I have so much apprehension going into this "mission." I'm not a runner - I never have been. I hated mile Friday's in Gym class, and only tried to run when the gym teacher was watching. Lets just say, the only way you're getting me to run a mile is if Luke Bryan himself were waiting at the finish line with a giant cupcake for me, while running from some scary horror movie-icon. (That's my inner fan/fat girl coming out... You'll have to excuse me.) ;)

I'm also nervous about screwing up and sucking (for lack of a better term). I have no (zip, zero, zilch) leg muscles whatsoever. Fatigue will be huge, and I know one of the first things I will have to learn is pacing myself when running. (That is next to impossible for this girl.) I'm also slower than a turtle, and if I get sick, hurt, whatever, I'm fearful I'll fall behind both schedule and speed-wise, eventually letting myself down by not completing the whole 5k run.

I look forward to the challenge however, as I think this will pay off. I'm cautiously optimistic, but with the help of the app, (and maybe leg definition) I can do this. At least that's what I'm reminding myself. I'm a fighter, the little engine that could, right?

After all, who knew I'd make it past a 20 lb loss, let alone ever lose 90?! I know I've for sure surprised myself, so you never know...

In the meantime, I plan to start going back to Zumba (with a new instructor) as well as starting to run next week. I will keep you posted!

"Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it."

-Greg Anderson

It's one of those weeks...

It's finals week; I've been studying furiously to try to keep my A in Managerial Accounting, however I am dreading the final exam. It's been a tough semester with two challenging classes, one that I'm extremely relieved to put behind me. Not only is/was it finals week, my cousin's funeral was over the weekend, and with family in town, plus stress, AND finals, it's been a weight loss journey week I'd LOVE to put behind me.

On a positive note, since this is finals week, that means no classes this summer! (YEAH!) Since I'm not taking summer classes, I'm planning to get back in the fitness game, with Zumba, cycling, and starting my 'Couch to 5k' regiment hopefully next week (or week after). My plan is to "run" the entire Color Run in Indy July 20, however in speaking with several Twitter-runner friends, this may not be entirely possible due to the amount of people present. I will try my best of course! I do intend to do a few timed 5k's this fall, in hopes to someday run the Mini Marathon in Indianapolis.

I will definitely keep you posted, as I work through the next 9-ish weeks of what I hope isn't H-E-double hockey sticks. ;)

So, with that, I leave this:

A Case of Mistaken Identity

I'll admit it, it's kind of fun not being recognized! (Cue the James Bond Intro music...)

Never in my wildest dreams did I think this weight loss journey would ever put me in the position of nonrecognition; to the point of people not knowing who I am when I say hello (even if it's been a while since I've last saw them but known them for years), or people looking at pictures on my desk wondering who's that girl with the cap, gown, and flowers on a graduation day?

"Awww, is that your sister?"

I can't help but giggle and wonder if they're really doing it because they honestly have no idea, and do I really look that different?! Hmmmmm.....

In about the past month or so, I've had a few cases of mistaken identity that still make me smile every time I think of them. The first happened instance happen just around a month or so ago, when I agreed to make a Maidrite run for my husband and I's dinner. (The Maidrite "place" is local sandwich shop just across the stateline into Ohio. It's kind of a local legendary hangout of sorts, and it's nothing short of delicious-goodness!) I walked in, recognized a couple sitting off to my right as I ordered, said hi, asked how they're doing, etc. You know the drill. This couple also happened to be the parents of my best friend I used to hang out with in high school and college. They know my husband as well, so of course when I mentioned that my hubby had seen one of them last week, that could've been a dead giveaway, but I guess not? After asking them how they were, how's their family, etc., I placed my order for Maidrites and waited to get my bag to go. On my way out, they stopped me and asked, "You are Ashley, correct? To which I replied, "Yessssss.....?" (With an odd stare...) "Oh, I thought you were Jill's daughter, but we didn't recognize you! How much have you lost; you look great!"

Crickets...

I see myself in the mirror everyday so of course I haven't really "witnessed the change," per se. I've never had that moment of realization where I think to myself, "Wow! I look so different! I really have changed!" It's always been me in the mirror, and that I guess the weight loss has been slow enought (yet not really) that I haven't had that moment. I never realized how big I was, or how much I've shed until I see old pictures versus new pictures. My husband tells me he sees the difference, however when I was bigger, he didn't see that in me; it didn't make who I was. (Does that make sense? Sometimes I wonder if it's just the obligatory husband comment...)

The second instance actually happened today. I had a coworker stop by my desk to ask a few questions regarding some work, and he noticed my framed picture from college graduation in 2008 on the corner of my desk. He absolutely couldn't believe it was me, asking if it were my sister. I only have one sibling: a twin brother, and he absolutely couldn't wrap his head around the idea that it really was me! It actually made me feel pretty good!

As I stated prior, I really have no "recollection" of the weight coming off. I mean, I do see it in comparative pictures; before vs. now. I see the loose skin, I know my face is definitely skinnier, (No double chins, yeah!) but I had no idea I would look so different. Many who lose weight still resemble themselves, however I guess I don't from what those around me say. But it's okay! I'm cool with it! It really does make me feel great about myself: that all of this hard work (the good, bad, and ugly), the "rabbit food," the weeks I didn't budge an inch on the scale, and the weeks that I lost 2-3 lbs, it really does make it all worth it!

So I'll embrace this change of course, and reintroduce myself if the need arises. Yes, I'm still the same Ashley you've known all along, just a 92 lb loser. (Wait a minute...) ;)


“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.” ― Confucius

A Small Craving Victory

Where I work, we have a small frozen custard/food shop in our lounge. It's literally right across the hall from the office, and during some days, it's a wreck for me. I, however, had a small NSV (non-scale victory), one that really helped with my confidence this past week.

Unfortunately for me, I've always been the girl who if you sit a cookie or piece of cake down in front of me, I'll eat it. I'll count it, but I'll eat it. Who cares about dinner, right? (Wrong!) I always joke if I get caught for something (I won't though), the most effective form of torture used on me would include sitting a crap-ton of baked sweets in front of me and say, "Don't touch." I would crack within 5 seconds, no joke.

Soooooo, this past week the custard shop decided to pass out free scoops in the afternoon, just about the time I start to get hungry. Of course, RIGHT?! That dreaded 2:30pm window...

Choices included buttered almond, butterscotch, vanilla, or chocolate. Now this shop normally has lite/sugar free vanilla, which I opt for as a better option. Unfortunately, it wasn't offered up this time. As coworkers filed in with their free scoops, I held strong!

And I completely shocked myself!

For me, this journey has had baby steps, one day at a time. I didn't get here overnight, but through these small battles, I've been able to be successful so far. Will I ever be able to eat healthy without counting? I'm not sure, but I hope one day I can make small, smart choices that help me get there.

Because my weight didn't go on overnight, it's not coming off overnight either. But I only 8.4 to go! :)

"Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible to the visible." -Tony Robbins

A Month of Madness

July will be crazy. I can already sense it.

I've recently decided once school is finished in May (at least for the semester), I will start training for a 5k. The Color Run was something some friends wanted me to do last year, however I was in no shape to run. I'm still not.

A little about me...I'm kind of all or nothing. If I set out to do something, I set out to do it and do it well. (Rose colored glasses...)

If I'm doing this 5k, I'm running the whole thing, so as of the week after final exams, I will start a Couch to 5k program, lasting about 9 weeks (I think running 3-4 times a week). The Color Run Indy is July 20.

In the K household, July is usually a notably killer month. My better half is usually gone from sun up to sun down, as July is a huge straw-bailing month in Indiana. He goes to work during the day and goes straight to his co-worker/friend's house or whatever field they're in at the time, to assist the family post-wheat harvest. I joke that I turn into a farm-widow during the month. I'm lucky if he's done bailing by my birthday, some years. I also have tickets to a HUGE race the week after the 5k at Eldora Speedway. Being motorsports-obsessed, it's the must-attend race of the Truck Series this season, in my opinion, and we have tickets! :) Add in fair season, it's just going to be craaaaaaazzzzzzy.

Anyway, until this morning I had planned to train for both the 5k, and a local "ride" sponsored by one of the area hospitals. It's a 22-miler, and I've only rode as much as 11 1/2 in one sitting, so training is definitely needed. The only issue is I'm a dork. I totally didn't realize both the run and ride were on the same day, as I thought that they were a week apart, so I'm choosing to train for the run. (I've only been saying next year, next year, next year for the past 3 years with this ride. UGH!)

Unfortunately, I have a feeling this training will be a nightmare for me. I'm just not a runner, never really have been. I want to like running, love it even. I see the benefits of running, of being able to just go out and pound the pavement, and let stress slip away.

This will also give me the tools to hopefully start training for the Mini Marathon in Indy that sits on my bucket list. All 13ish miles of it! Someday for sure...

But baby steps, Ash. (I have to remember to be patient.) There will be good days with the bad, but I'm a pretty determined person. I want to run the entire 5k!

Check back after the first of May. I'll try to blog progress with the Couch to 5k program, leading up to the actual event, July 20!

A new milestone...

This is a quick post, as I'm SUPER pumped...

I AM 90 LBS DOWN!!! (Woooo! Sorry for the All-Caps-type scream...)

Since I wasn't exactly with it at 6 am, after a night of little sleep and a ton of stress, I stepped on the scale twice. Why? 1) I couldn't believe it, and 2) you know I had to take a picture!!

I haven't been in the 150's since probably my 8th grade or Freshman year in high school, but more importantly, I have 9.4 to go to my healthy weight range!

It may have taken 3 years to get here, but the hare didn't win the race.

Attempting New Tastes

I'll be honest: I get super nervous when trying new things, especially when it comes to different types of cuisine. If it doesn't have a menu or nutrition information posted online to where I can research, I get super nervous. I'm still not at the stage yet in my weightloss journey where I can trust myself. (It's why I try to avoid buffets altogether. Just a bad idea for me. Period.)

A year or so ago, a new Thai restaurant opened on the north side of town where I work. Most everything yummy/healthy/tasty is located on the east side, so it's a little rough to get to in just one lunch hour, while things on the north side are usually just limited to a few restaurants, plus fast food. (We do have Subway though; it's a lifesaver if I forget to pack lunch!)

In a previous post, I mentioned last week, a friend/coworker of mine and I attempted to go to the new-ish Thai restaurant, however it being Good Friday, they appeared closed. Since I've never had Thai food, I slightly breathed a sigh of relief, especially since I hadn't done my homework at that point. I was going in blind! I've never had Thai food before, so with this new experience, I'm nervous.

I'm nervous I'll make a caloric mistake; choose something because I don't know what it is or what's in it, and I'll have a major weightloss setback. I know it's just lunch, it's one meal, no biggie, but to me it kind of is. I'm fearful of a trickle-down/domino effect.

Another issue I have is that there is no menu posted. Again, going in blind. I can't scope out good vs. bad before I go. It does seem really stupid to be so nervous, however I'm also fearful I won't be able to really enjoy it because I'm too busy worrying about counting what I eat.

So, here goes nothing... I'm always up for new experiences, but again, if I can't research it, or know some sort of what I'm getting into, I freak. It's just my nature. But I'm still giving it a shot... :)