I’m honestly always at a loss for resolutions. I hate
setting them. I never stick to them. (Except for last year’s, but who really
does?) There’s always the, “I’m going to work out more. Go to the Gym. Eat
better,” resolution, but I’m already living that as best I can. I could’ve gone
with the, “I’ll go to more hockey games,” but my husband shot that down. I
thought about being more “carefree” but who am I kidding? I wouldn’t be me
without worry.
Mr. K and I were discussing what we thought our resolutions
could be for 2014, just random conversation during the 45 minute drive home
from Christmas celebrations with my family. After about five minutes of
giggling, serious tones, and several, “Are you really going to stick with
that?!,” I thought to myself, “I want to
be happier with myself.” So I ran it
by him. He adamantly agreed.
I’ll be honest, even after losing 110 pounds, I haven’t been
able to actually look at myself in the mirror and feel satisfied or happy with
what I see. Mr. K hears it all the time, especially in the past few days after gluttonous
feasts on Christmas goodies (and tooooooooooo many cookies to count). I haven’t
felt exactly my best, and with surgery and not being able to run or really
workout (my words, I could’ve worked out but I used it as an excuse), really
put me down for the past few months. I try not to focus on the negative, but I still find it hard, especially on days I
feel “fat.” (And lately, that’s been more than not.)
I don’t know where the negative thinking really comes from.
Is it negative feelings caused by emotional scars from past experiences? Am I
just not confident enough with who I am? (That’s improved drastically in my
twenties, though. I used to NEVER go up and talk to anyone I didn’t know. Now?
Hell, no problem! I’m one of the friendliest and approachable girls you’ll
meet!) But I only ever want to feel good about myself, and if that means
letting go of negative thoughts, the past, whatever, I’ll do it. In 2014.
So that’s my goal, my resolution. New year, new outlook.
Just as I was thinking and browsing Facebook on my lunch
hour today, Dacia over at Run.
Ride. Repeat., and also one of my favorite Twitter/Facebook/all around rock
star friends, posted this bit from Mind,
Body, Green, and I think really hammers home what I’m hoping to accomplish with
my resolution for 2014. (You have impeccable timing, Dacia!) Here are a few
highlights I personally want to improve upon most:
ü
2. Let go of feeling
guilty for doing what you truly want to do.
ü
3. Let go of the
fear of the unknown; take one small step and watch the path reveal itself.
Anyone
that knows me, knows this may be the hardest. Thanks to Mr. K, I’m known as “The
Planner.”
ü
5. Let go of
worrying; worrying is like praying for what you don’t want.
Bahahahahahaha!
Ok. Better.
ü
8. Let go of
thinking your dreams are not important; always follow your heart.
ü
10. Let go of
thinking everyone else is happier, more successful or better off than you. You
are right where you need to be. Your journey is unfolding perfectly for you.
And the two I feel are most important
overall:
ü
19.
Let go of trying to fit in and be accepted by everyone. Your uniqueness is what
makes you outstanding.
ü
20.
Let go of self-hate. You are not the shape of your body or the number on the
scale. Who you are matters, and the world needs you as you are. Celebrate you!
…and speaking of celebrations, this morning’s
physical therapy session went amazingly well, with my PTA saying, “You won’t be
here long.” Testing the waters and pushing my luck at four weeks post-op, I
asked, “When do you think I can attempt to run?” …and she said…I quote, “You can
run whenever you’re comfortable. Just take it easy, and know that you may be
sore. Ice and Ibuprofen are still your closest friends.”
Wait. What? I
CAN RUN AGAIN???
Of course, I definitely plan to take it easy. I can’t
go out and run three miles flat with no problem. There will be problems if I
even attempt it. I haven’t ran since mid-October and we’re approaching January.
So what’s my plan?
Currently, it’s cold. I don’t like cold weather and
unless it’s 45 degrees with no wind but plenty of sun, I won’t run outside. I
do have the dreadmill, and that’s where I plan to start, beginning Couch to 5k
completely over. From scratch. Week 1 of 9. I am hoping that I can stay on pace
so that come February, I can start in for half training, using a run/walk plan
a Twitter friend passed on to me. At this point, I don’t know or even expect to
be able to run the entire Indy Mini, I’ll need to walk some, but I just want to
complete it. That’s what’s on my bucket list and at the end of 13.1 miles, just
crossing the finish line will be sweet enough. Thinking about it gives me
goosebumps, and if I want to run the entire thing, there is always May 2015. Or
the Air Force Half, or the Flying Pig, both in Ohio in Fall 2014. We’ll see.
For right now, I’m just focused on completing Couch
to 5k again, getting myself back in running shape to around 9+ miles per week
average. From there, who knows?
The sky’s the limit. I know. I still can’t fathom
losing the equivalent of a person, let alone running one mile, or even three,
in one sitting. But I’ve done it. So now, I’m setting sights on 2014, and pray
that it’s even better than 2013. If it is, I won’t know how to act!
Thank you for continuing to read my posts, as well as giving me support! It means the world to me! So, Happy New Year! I hope that 2014 brings you many blessings! :)
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