Now on to the post.... (Deep breath, Ash.)
The "Peanut Gallery."
It happens weekly; the questions about my weight loss I get are almost predictable, but it has been four years.
"How much weight have you lost?"
"How are you doing it?"
"How do you stay on track?"
"You must work out constantly?"
...and then my favorites (hint: sarcasm ahead):
"I bet you don't eat any cheeseburgers, do you?"
"Oh, another salad today?"
"Are you sure you don't have an eating disorder?"
"You mean you actually ate a carb?" (Yes, someone actually has asked me that, to which I replied, "I eat them everyday." *Smile. Walk-away.*)
"When are you going to stop losing weight?"
The last one has honestly been nails on the chalkboard as of late for me, with several folks asking/commenting, or telling me I've lost "too much." Just as a close family member suggested I had an eating disorder at Thanksgiving because "I've lost too much weight and need to stop," I'm starting to hear those words again from several, and I can honestly say they cut just as deep as the comments I had when I was "fat."
I know I should be comfortable with myself enough that I shouldn't hang on to these words, however it's hard. It really is.
But I want to make this very clear: I eat. I eat a lot. And I eat to fuel my body.
No, I am not starving myself. (I couldn't. I, A) am trying to be smart about what I'm doing, as I want to be healthy, not skinny, and B) really, really love food that much.)
No, I'm not working out every waking moment of the day. I have a life, and I like to live it, even if school is taking away from "social time."
If I know that I'm going to have a large meal (or one that might test my calorie maintenance "limit" for the day), I run. I run to eat. And when I mean eat, I mean eat. I can still put food away, and I'm not ashamed of it.
...but I can tell you what is happening: I'm losing inches, as my goal now is to maintain, but tone. I have quite a bit of loose skin, stretch marks, cellulite, or any other fun things that comes with losing 110+ pounds. It's not pleasant, I don't like it, but I'm working to improve myself so that I am happy with how I look, and who I am as a whole. I have not lost any weight on the scale number-wise, and honestly, I'm shifting my focus away from it. I will not let food or the scale rule me, as I want to be able to share the ever-amazing Mississippi Mud Pie I did yesterday with a close friend/former coworker and not feel bad about it. (It was delish, by the way. I don't feel bad about it, either.)
...and I really don't want you, the reader, to take this post the wrong way. Please, don't. I'm not trying to come across as selfish, but the words about being "too skinny" cut just as deep as when they were about being "fat."
Bottom line: I am not starving myself for "image." I promise you.
So I will leave you with this:
Be happy. Be healthy. But most importantly, be you. (And be happy with "you!")
"When are you going to stop losing weight?"
The last one has honestly been nails on the chalkboard as of late for me, with several folks asking/commenting, or telling me I've lost "too much." Just as a close family member suggested I had an eating disorder at Thanksgiving because "I've lost too much weight and need to stop," I'm starting to hear those words again from several, and I can honestly say they cut just as deep as the comments I had when I was "fat."
I know I should be comfortable with myself enough that I shouldn't hang on to these words, however it's hard. It really is.
But I want to make this very clear: I eat. I eat a lot. And I eat to fuel my body.
No, I am not starving myself. (I couldn't. I, A) am trying to be smart about what I'm doing, as I want to be healthy, not skinny, and B) really, really love food that much.)
No, I'm not working out every waking moment of the day. I have a life, and I like to live it, even if school is taking away from "social time."
If I know that I'm going to have a large meal (or one that might test my calorie maintenance "limit" for the day), I run. I run to eat. And when I mean eat, I mean eat. I can still put food away, and I'm not ashamed of it.
...but I can tell you what is happening: I'm losing inches, as my goal now is to maintain, but tone. I have quite a bit of loose skin, stretch marks, cellulite, or any other fun things that comes with losing 110+ pounds. It's not pleasant, I don't like it, but I'm working to improve myself so that I am happy with how I look, and who I am as a whole. I have not lost any weight on the scale number-wise, and honestly, I'm shifting my focus away from it. I will not let food or the scale rule me, as I want to be able to share the ever-amazing Mississippi Mud Pie I did yesterday with a close friend/former coworker and not feel bad about it. (It was delish, by the way. I don't feel bad about it, either.)
...and I really don't want you, the reader, to take this post the wrong way. Please, don't. I'm not trying to come across as selfish, but the words about being "too skinny" cut just as deep as when they were about being "fat."
Bottom line: I am not starving myself for "image." I promise you.
So I will leave you with this:
Be happy. Be healthy. But most importantly, be you. (And be happy with "you!")
Awesome post!
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