Can't I Just Stay Healthy? Pretty Please?!

The Universe's answer?

No.

I've never been so aggravated and upset this week, and this honestly tops the irritation I had knee surgery. Why? Because I'm 6 weeks out to the Mini Marathon, SIX, and I have my hotel reserved, goops bought, new shoes, outfit planned, etc.

I've been pretty much bawling my eyes out all week.

So what happened?

I decided to push my scheduled runs off by a day, since Monday night I didn't get home until 9:30. I didn't exactly want to be on the treadmill running 5 miles until 11:30 at night so I decided to go to bed, push it off until Tuesday, and use the gym at the university I attend. I did just that.

While running my scheduled 5 miles on Tuesday night, something in my right foot (totally different leg than the knee I had operated on) started to hurt. My first reaction was, "Ok. Just see if it's a muscle spasm. Run it out. Push through"

Ha! Yeah... Right...

At mile 4 I couldn't take it anymore. I had a pain in the top of my foot, a little off center, that started to throw my running gait off. The only thing different I had done was bump up the speed a bit, however it was only by .1 or .2 of MPH to where I was at 5.5. I was able to maintain it for 4 miles, so why at 4 did my foot start to hurt?

I've done the usual - RICE (Rest, Ice, Compress, Elevate), while also downing Ibuprofen and using Rexall like it's going out of style. I'm trying to keep it loose, by rotating my ankle, flexing it every so often, etc. But I've narrowed it down... I think... (Because I have MD after my name; didn't you know that?!)

It's either one of two things:

1. Stress Fracture
2. Tendon/strain/muscle ache

I really, really, really, really, really it's the second option, as the only way to heal a stress fracture is to stop and let it heal.

With 6 (SIX) weeks left until the Mini Marathon...

You have got to be f*cking kidding me.

My thought process is this - that if it were a stress fracture, I wouldn't be able to walk. At times it hurts, at times it aches, at times it doesn't. That leads me to believe it's more of a muscle strain or tendon issue.

I'll be seeing a doc tomorrow to see what I should probably do, but honestly, I'll take a Cortisone shot for one in the foot, please! Just let me get through May 3 healthy, unhurt, with a medal around my neck. That's all I ask for. Normal programming resumes after... Or at least, healing and recovery.

In addition though, I wasn't mentally prepared for my 5 mile run that night - I just wanted to get it over with. I've been noticing, with longer runs, I haven't been as excited as I used to when I was just running 9 miles per week on average. I was happy, running a 5k here or there for the fun of it; now I'm afraid I might be getting a little burnt out with running. It's more of a chore than a stress-reliever, if that makes sense?

I have such a stubborn and determined drive, that I will not let this cause me to fail - I'm stronger than that, but this bump in the road has really knocked me on my ass. It's a blow to my gut, steel ovaries, and ego as I honestly sometimes forget I'm not Super Woman. I just want to get through this half marathon, complete my dream, and move on.

But with six weeks out to the Mini, I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever achieve this...

I honestly feel like I'm failing.