"You'll never know if you don't try."

...I know, mom. And I only hope you're proud of me for living through your quote. I wouldn't be here in my journey if this isn't what you said when I told you I decided to lose weight. :)

I wasn't actually planning to submit anything when I first saw Brooke from Brooke Not On A Diet's retweet this morning of Shape Magazine's call for women to submit their weight loss stories.

Would you like to be featured in the magazine with @babnotonadiet​? Send your story to youinshape@shape.com.
— Shape Magazine (@Shape_Magazine) May 9, 2014

I'm a little uneasy with the fact that I may or may not have to pose in a bikini. Do I hope to some day? Yes. Confidently? Double yes.

...but Brooke has inspired me; inspired me enough to run in just a sports bra and running shorts last night, loose skin, nerves, and all. I'm sure it'll be the talk of church come Sunday, that I was out running in "next to nothing," but honestly - my husband was ok with it. (As curt as it sounds - his opinion is really the only one I care about when it comes to something like this. Wow. I really am growing up, huh? Ha!)

But as one of my favorite persons of all time and a favorite blogger too, Dacia over at My Roots To Grow, mentioned this morning in her blog post, I'm not really out for the promotion of my blog, or to "sell" my story. I honestly don't have much time to promote my blog as much as I would love to, with working full-time, racing stuff on weekends, and school mixed in. However, I do want to share my story so that others can be inspired. That's the only reason why I chose to even form this blog to begin with, much less submit something to Shape.

...and the fact that I'm still petrified to rock a bikini, gulp, in public, freeeeeeeeeaks me out. But I have several folks who have already said they will go bikini shopping with me if needed. I can't even begin to thank each and everyone I'm surrounded by, who continue to give me support and encouraging words either personally or via social media.

So, without further adieu, here's what I submitted to Shape, along with the photos I attached, in response to the above tweet:

 
For me, when I set out on my "weight loss journey" about four years ago, I didn't plan to lose triple digits - 116+ pounds total now - I just wanted to be healthy (NOT skinny). Cardiac health issues run deep in my family, and I've watched my Opa (German for grandfather) go through at the time 4, now 5, heart attacks, all due to poor diet in the past. Throw in personal insecurities, bullying trauma and virtually no self esteem left over from high school (and the fact I couldn't wear fashions I wanted to as a young twenty-something because I had to shop in the "older lady section" of a department store) I knew something had to change. It was just time. On my wedding day in October 2009, I tipped the scale at 250 lbs., morbidly obese but in denial. About 6 months after I married my husband, I knew something had to change, and I joined a national weight loss program, only setting a goal to see where losing 25 pounds would get me. Never did I ever imagine that it would lead to my healthy lifestyle change. I've chronicled the good, bad, and ugly through my blog attheemotionalride.blogspot.com, covering all things from the highs of completing my first half marathon last month after taking up running last summer, to the struggles I still deal with in the dressing room mirror at the mall, and everything in between in hopes to inspire.

The past four years are very hard to summarize in just one email, especially the feelings I have battled and triumphed over, while only hoping to inspire others to make a change for themselves, and for the better, while also bettering my body for having kids some day in the future. I knew that if I wanted to have children, to prevent a high risk issue, something also needed to change. My husband and my mother have been my rock the entire way, cheering me on or holding me while I cry and let go of feelings from the past. What the four years have given me is enough confidence and drive to accomplish what I love, including my first ever half marathon in Indianapolis. I'm truly, finally happy, while also "finding myself" in the process.

Though I've reached and surpassed my goal of losing 100 pounds, my journey continues everyday with my struggles of food, but also toning and continuing to maintain what I've worked for. It's a lifelong journey, not a "quick fix."

Thank you for taking time to read my, albeit short, summary of my weight loss journey. I have attached some pictures showing the progress I've made.

My Before vs. After/Current Progress - approx 115 lbs difference.

I can usually count the seconds it takes someone visiting my office to either, A) double-take, B) ask if that's my sister (nope, I have a brother), C) ask how much weight I've lost, or D) all of the above.

 

For the first time in my life, inspired by Brooke, I bared midriff while running in just a sports bra & shorts. It was both nerve-wrecking AND freeing.

Completing my first half marathon, not expecting to ever have the opportunity when adding it to my bucket list, tipping the scales at 250 lbs. But I did.

                                                                                                                                                                 

Do I honestly think something is going to come of this? No, honestly I don't. I'm sure there are plenty of other women out there that have better reasons than me, have a more interesting "hook" than my story does when deciding to take their life in their own hands to make a change for the better, and definitely deserve the praise and recognition. 

But regardless, for all of the love and support I've been given, thank you. For those who've said I'm a warrior, an inspiration, a driving force, or a reason to decide to lose weight or change their lifestyle, that humbles me incredibly, because I never ever thought I'd get this far, much less influence or inspire someone. 

I truly thank each and every person in my life for allowing me to accomplish this.