Now the not-so-fun part...
I think I'm reaching a crossroads, one that has sort of snuck up on me. I hadn't fully expected to reach this point, even if it has been 3 years, where in order to lose more weight, I have to start toning and building muscle to burn the fat. In turn, I may lose more inches than pounds, but would start to shape and sculpt loose skin, among other things. As much as I hate to admit this, this was the portion of my journey I really wasn't looking forward to; I'm not an iron-pumping kind of girl. I'm more apt to be throwing bales of straw down from a hay mou, and loading bags of seed from the truck to the planter with my husband. (And quite honestly, I'm super intimidated and fearful of a gym for obvious reasons many folks face.)
When starting Couch to 5k, I honestly thought the weight would just fall right off; that my 4-pounds-to-go to hit my healthy weight range and personal goal would fast approach. I was finally becoming more active than I had been previously, as I hadn't been focusing on working out but more of my diet at the time. It would finally be that moment that what I thought would be the near-end to my journey, that it was finally over in a way. The end of one chapter, and the starting of a new...
(It also meant that once I reached 150, I could finally cut my hair and donate it to a child in need, and also get that much-anticipated me-to-me gift of a Brooks Laich jersey before next hockey season...)
Well... Guess what?
As I've previously wrote before, I'm facing my second plateau, one that's definitely testing my willpower, determination, and motivation. Instead of losing the remaining 4 pounds, I've gained 2 within the past month. (Regrettably, I haven't taken measurements during this journey, and I can't really report any changes in inches, just pounds. That has changed, though, thanks to MyFitnessPal's measurements feature.)
You're probably thinking, "Seriously Ash?! Two pounds? You're stressing over two pounds?"
Well, yeah, I am. Yes, I'm totally aware that I have lost 95 pounds, that I'm much better off than where I was 3 years ago, that I feel better, feel more energetic, and I just feel healthier and happier than previous. I have that confidence and self-esteem that I needed to gain, knowing that I can do this. But when you're down to the wire, you see that light at the end of the tunnel, you're counting ounces instead of pounds, it starts to matter, and wear on a person. And it really plays serious mind games.
I'm trying really hard not to stress it. I've been able to reach out to a few people in my circle of friends that have said this is totally normal. I did slightly expect to plateau around 5 pounds to go, but not like this, and certainly not to gain weight. I've had my moments this week with it, notably a sleepless night or two with a few tears; all certainly adding up to more stress and perhaps keeping the weight on, not helping to take it off.
It is highly possible that yes, I am in fact gaining muscle, as it's been said many times to me this week, "Muscle weighs more than fat." I am fully aware of that. I have noticed that my hips and belly have started to thin, that my legs are a little leaner, but through this journey, I've said it before that I haven't really noticed much difference in the mirror. I see myself every day. It's the scale where I see results.
I've been so weight-number focused for the past 3 years, adjusting my thinking is going to be difficult. Obviously the scale can't accurately portray where I've come from and how I'm doing now. I'm so impatient that I usually don't notice results in the mirror, but eventually I will. At least, I hope.
For now, I'm going to chug along. My eating habits have been as good as they've ever been. I haven't given in to too many temptations that present themselves, and when I did have that cookie, it was tracked, and it certainly wasn't every day. I'm already much further than I was a month ago in that aspect, let alone over the course of 3 years.
About a week ago, I adjusted my calorie intake from 1,330 to 1,550 per day, plus what I get from running or working out in hopes to lose again. That roughly shifts from losing 1 pound per week to 1/2 per week. It just could be that I wasn't getting enough nutrition and calories needed, as my body is working harder and now needs more to burn fat. I can already tell a difference in feeling better, so at least there's that, right?
Eventually this extra weight has to go somewhere. After all, at 175 I didn't think I could lose any more and here I am sitting mid-150's.
I'm hoping to shift my thinking, as this is a life-long journey, not just to arrive at a certain "weight" number and then stop. As I said earlier, I'm already more active than I've ever been, running for solid 1/2 hour increments, gaining much more distance and stamina over the past 7 weeks of C25K than I've ever ran in my entire life. That's progress, its just on a different scale! ;)
...and as reminder/PSA:
(Special shout-out and HUGE thank you to Dacia over at Run. Ride. Repeat. for all of the wonderful advice and listening to my rants, complaints, and plain ol' bitching with my plateau. You truly are an amazing person, and I am so thankful I have been able to get to know you through social media. You are truly an inspiration to me! I can't thank you enough!)
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