...and the verdict is?

Surgery. December 6. …and that’s okay! I’m actually a little more comfortable with the idea of surgery on my knee that at first thought, which surprises me. I actually think my husband is more concerned about it than I am. ;)

The doctor did a fabulous job explaining all that is to be done, why it’s going to be done, and what he will check for. (More on that later.) The doctor I’m seeing comes highly recommended not only by my chiropractor/referring doc, but family members who have also had surgery performed by him, which has helped with my comfort level. Everyone has said, “Oh, he’s great! You’ll like him!” And so far, I do. 

Going in to the appointment, I was certainly nervous as I really didn’t know what to expect. (I was also a little more than irritated as I didn’t see the doc for two hours, but he made up for it.)

I don’t want my running days to be over faster than they had started, but in order to run again pain-free without causing additional damage, I don’t have a choice. Surgery is the only answer since I’ve torn my Meniscus (cartilage), and cartilage doesn’t heal. It never will.

Seeing everyone else run, enjoying the cooler temperatures, and missing out on 5k’s I had previously planned for, it’s played with my mind. I’ll be honest; the past five weeks have been really difficult (i.e. hell) for me ever since I injured myself. I see where athletes say that sitting on the sidelines is one of the hardest things to do when they’re injured or recovering. It sucks. I’ve been grumpier and edgier than I have been than while I’ve ran, and I haven’t been able to do much of anything. Stairs hurt, walking excessively hurts, twisting/dancing/pivoting hurts. But some days are better than others. Yeah, I know, I can take pain meds, I get that. I guess you could say I’m being a bit of a martyr however I’m the type to just, “suck it up” when it’s really not that bad. This pain is only dull, but not something I couldn’t deal with.

 

(My knees via X-Ray. The doctor is pretty happy with the way they look. I imagined at that moment, "Hey, nice knees!" Worst...pickup line...ever. Gentlemen, don't use it. ...random, I know.)

During the appointment, I had X-rays completed to check the structures of my knees to make sure everything looks in place, in addition to the previous MRI, and that there weren’t any possible fractures or issues. (Yes, those are my knees. My torn cartilage is in the outside left knee, or right on the above picture, that’s affected.)

The doctor said, ‘everything will be super easy and I expect you running again in 4-6 weeks after the surgery since you’re in shape.”

“…you’re in shape.” That’s the first thing I heard. And internally, I laughed. Like full-on rolling-on-the-floor-dying laugh.

“HUH?! What?! Noooooooo….. Hahahaha! Pshhh, I’m not in shape. What are you talking about?”

Remember that blog post I made about changing my thinking? How I have to adjust to not thinking “75 lbs heavier?” (…now 110+, but who’s counting?)  You can read about that here. It’s the same with how I’m in shape now.

Wow… I’m in shape? I certainly don’t feel like it.

He mentioned with how built my leg muscles are still (he can see that in the MRI), as well as my age and the overall health that I am in, recovery will be a breeze. He even wants me off of crutches the next day. Oof.

Anyway, the second thing I heard in that statement, (after I had to catch my breath from internally laughing so hard) FOUR TO SIX WEEKS and I’ll be running again! My first thought was, “Oh, thank God for my husband,” and then it was, “Oh, thank God!” (And I’m really thanking Him at this point, because going into this all and not knowing what was happening, that I was just having pain, I didn’t know if I would run again. Silly Ashley, it can be fixed!)

What happens (or at least in my case) with torn cartilage - there is literally a tear. What is torn is rolling up, causing pain in my knee due to it catching underneath. It’s not laying in place as it should be. It sounds a lot worse than it really is, but I’ve been limping some on bad days. The good news? The surgery is only a 20 minute procedure. The doctor will go in and shave off/remove what’s torn while scoping my knee to check to make sure everything else is intact and okay.  

(Artist's still out on the rendering, but at least the doctor explains it in terms, or pictures, I can understand. That's supposed to be the cartilage in my knee.)

The dark spot above is kind of what’s torn and will be removed in my knee. After all is said and done, I’ll still have cartilage to pad the knee of impact, and once the soreness wears off and starts to heal, back to running. (A-freaking-men.)

The doctor is somewhat concerned, however, with wear and tear on my knees, mostly due to years of being heavier, not impact from running. The scope is there to check to make sure that wear on the actual bone is still okay. He seems to think at most my knees may be that of a 40-year-old’s more so than late-20’s due to the pressure I was placing on my knees from the extra weight I was carrying around. 

(Humorous side note: The doctor was trying to beat around the bush about me “being heavier,” and was being sensitive towards “those days,” and it made me chuckle. I know some folks are a little more sensitive about “heavier days,” but I’m not. I just basically said, “Yes, I was heavier. But I chose to lead a new lifestyle, one that through this change, I can be healthy and hopefully live for more years to come. It happened, but it’s time to move on!” You can read about why I came to the decision here in my very first blog post.)

As I said previously, recovery is four to six weeks, and I’ll be running again once he clears me, WHICH IS AWESOME. What’s even more awesome? I’ll pretty much be walking (somewhat pain free) the day after surgery. There may be some soreness and swelling for up to six weeks after, but he fully expects me to be off of crutches within that first day after, and back to work on Monday. How cool is that?! (Of course, that’s if everything goes according to plan. …and that’s what I’m praying for.)

The doctor made mentioned he performed the same surgery on one of his colleagues in the office, and ultimately, he ran a half-marathon three weeks later. (Disclaimer: I WILL NOT RUN A HALF THREE WEEKS LATER.) I will not even run outside, much less resume the amount of mileage I was normally running each week three weeks later. My plan is to basically start from the beginning of Couch to 5k via treadmill to gauge where I am at physically post-surgery. I know I have lost some fitness in the previous weeks of inactivity, so I will have to build that back up with time. And I will also track the 10% rule. (I learned my lesson folks.)

But not all is lost… 

I’ve decided once everything is back to normal, and I resume running again, that I will shoot to complete the Indianapolis Mini Marathon in May, one item that still remains on my bucket list. I didn’t say I will run the entire 13ish miles, more like run/walk, but the ultimate goal is to complete the half.

I want to. For me. To show myself I can do something I set my mind to, even with stumbling blocks amongst the path, it can be done if I put my mind to it.

It will happen. It may not happen at the pace or activity level my competitive spirit wants it to be, but I will complete it.

So that’s my goal. Now to just get through surgery...