Kind Words

It’s been 3 whole years(ish) since I began my Weightloss Journey.

Hang on, I’m trying to let that sink in for a sec…

I really wish I would have circled or memorized the day I started my journey, something like my re-birthday. As of this morning, I’m still 89 pounds down; didn’t gain, didn’t lose this week, but I maintained. I can’t complain because, after putting it into perspective, I’ve lost basically an 11 year old child, or practically nine 10lb bags of potatoes! Imagine trying to carry that around the grocery store. I’m breaking a sweat just thinking about it!

Looking back, I’ve had days, even this week, where I feel so bad about what I eat. I’m not perfect. I can’t say that I have been during this whole journey. The first thing I learned is that moderation is key, not deprivation, because as I’ve mentioned before, you’ll drive yourself crazy completely eliminating things you love. You can’t go to a child’s birthday party without a little cake and ice cream (just don’t eat the whole cake)! That brings me to this past week.

During my trip to Toronto this past summer, I was introduced by a friend to the glorious Pulled Pork BBQ Nachos of RealSports. (My absolute favorite sports bar. Ever. If you go to Toronto, it’s a must-visit, especially on game days.) Since RealSports is only in Canada, I can’t exactly drop everything and drive 8 hours just to chow down, though I seriously wish I could! Ever since I pigged out, I can honestly say I have cravings for it. Flash-forward to this past week, a friend and coworker decided we should go get some Thai food at a new-ish restaurant down the street, however it being Good Friday, they were closed. I casually mentioned a fabulous, local BBQ joint in the historic district, and she immediately said nachos.

Oh, sheesh. Here we go.

I ate the whole thing. I counted it, but I ate the…whole…thing. UGH!

To say I had guilt or was frustrated after eating the…whole…thing, was a complete understatement and I honestly hated myself for it. The feeling wasn’t good. And I have days like this quite often. It’s something I’m working on, especially if I “cheat” and not track everything I eat.

This summer, I have a new goal I want to work on: being more positive about myself, and where I’ve come from in this journey. It really hasn’t been as easy as it looks, I promise you that. I have days where I still just feel absolutely horrible about what I’ve ate, or about myself in general, but I also have days where I feel great.

But there are those days when someone else makes you feel really good, too. I’ve had several people around me, either friends, family, or in the community that see my change and tell me about how I’ve inspired them to lose weight, or eat healthier than they have before. It’s extremely humbling to me because it’s not what I set out to do. It still blows me away every time someone mentions how I’ve inspired them. I never thought what I did or have done would inspire someone; I just wanted to get healthy. I never imagined in a million years I would inspire someone to make that change. It really makes me feel special, and it certainly makes those hard days feel so much more worth it!

Recently, the same coworker who went with me to the BBQ joint, shared some really kind and inspiring words to me, words that I can’t say rattled me. Well…actually they did, just in a really good way.

Though some of the conversation I won’t share, overall she mentioned that she really admired me for not changing in this weightloss journey; that even though I’ve lost so much weight, got “skinny” (in her words), it hasn’t changed who I am. I’m still deeply in love with my husband, still outgoing (I never really thought I was to begin with), and that I’m inspiring people for good, not vain or negative reasons. That REALLY meant a lot to me. But I’m still lil’ ol’ Ashley, just a few pounds lighter. I’m me, just a little bit of a healthier version. I never intended to set out for this to change who I am.

So thank you, friend. It really did mean so much more to me than I probably let on, but I really, really did need to hear that. Negativity can take over so much faster and impact someone much more than positivity, unfortunately. That being said, that’s a new goal for this summer.

Positive thoughts ONLY from here on out!

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless.”

-Mother Teresa