Going "Au Naturale"

...and before you think I'm going to bare anything, stop right there. Nooooooooo way will that happen. Not with me.

As I've said before, I'm currently training for my second half marathon, in addition to the Ragnar Relay Cape Cod. (...while in school, searching for an internship, working full-time, working part-time. I do sleep. I swear it.) But in my recovery experience from my first half marathon (AKA: 'Satan's Wrath'), and the fact I'm starting my longer runs that span over an hour, I've started to research and scope out a refueling plan. This is the fun part, at least I think so, since I get to eat!

...and yes, on long runs, runners get to eat. It's a 1/3 part relief, 1/3 part prevention of bonking or "hitting the wall," and 1/3 part chaotic coordination and realization of not having enough hands.

For the Mini, and even in my maintenance (lately, weight-gain) phase, or "continuation of living," I've been trying to introduce and focus on increasing more natural foods and minimal-ingredient choices in my diet. Well, it's worked as I feel better physically, however I've gained about 9 of my 115 pound loss back, in addition to an inch on my waist. It's frustrating me currently (a pain in my ass and thorn in my side), especially when I've been trying to focus on watching what I eat. In that same breath, I'm also trying to focus on being happy, eating a cupcake if I I want it, though after working hard for it (through running, workouts, etc.). Oh, the conundrum.

(Translation: I want to eat THE ENTIRE PAN OF BROWNIES and not gain an ounce. Funny how that hasn't worked.)

In my quest for mid-run fuel, I'm hoping to go the 'au naturale' route, or at least natural or more raw foods to help sustain me, versus using goops, gels, chomps, etc. I didn't have the best experience with what I used last year, though I believe I was rather dehydrated and not replacing fluids as one should. To put it mildly - I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone. (Also: I'm a dumbass. When they say don't change up your routine on race day, don't change up on your race day. Rookie mistake.)

I've thrown around a few options, including supplements from a nutrition store, using chews or gummy blocks to get me through again this year, but I want to avoid processed sugars, manufactured ingredients, etc. Thankfully, I've found a few options or ideas for "natural" fuel through Runner's World and...

...Pinterest.

All truth.

I'm not only looking for 'Hey Girl' memes, folks. (But this one did make me laugh... Just passing on a smile, and Ryan Gosling. *Swoon.* You're welcome.)

Uh. Yes.

I'm totally digressing, here.

Typically, if you're only working out for an hour-ish or shorter (75 minutes per Runner's World), replacing "fuel in your tank" isn't needed until after; however, since I'll be pounding out 13.1 for over two hours (goal: sub-2:30 and laying a wet-one on the famed "yard of bricks"), I will need something. Last year, I refueled around mile 9 to push me through, after completing my lap around the track, and it seemed to be the boost I needed.

...but in my quest for suggestions to give a more natural fuel source a shot, I've found a good article on Greatist outlining options other than just the "typical" choices.

Wait.

Gummy Bears?! Twizzlers?! Mini-marshmallows like my mom used to buy for hot chocolate?!

I like training. Training's fun!

Now, before I get my hopes up, I'm not planning to opt for those, though I have considered throwing a gummy bear or two in my "fuel tank" for reward. On the list, though, is dried fruit. It didn't smack me in the face that I could use dried fruit, as it's low in protein and fiber, until last night. (Fellow runners will understand the importance - there is nothing worse than having a ticked off tummy, running toward the nearest port-o-let, not the finish line. I'll spare the rest.)

What I'm in search of is something like dried fruit - fuel that's low in protein, low in fiber, high in carbohydrates (since that's what your body is using to run for so long - it's suggested for every hour running, you should replace 30-60g of carbohydrates), with some sodium included, (you sweat out salt, too) but lower in calories. Dried fruit isn't the best in calories or sugars, but after running for 2 1/2 hours, that isn't really my concern; completion, survival, success and quick recovery is my concern.

While visiting my mom last night back home briefly, we were discussing her latest finds at Trader Joe's, one of her favorite stores. One of her if only I could sneak them out purchases was dried apricots. I LOVE dried apricots, and used to eat them quite frequently as a kid.

(Please note: I've tried using pitted dates before to run with, but dates are not my favorite dried fruit, nor are they easy to handle during a run. Hands get sticky, they stick to my teeth, it's just not pleasant. I want something "pleasant.")

While scoping out her score, I flipped the package of dried apricots over, and...

Would ya look at that?

Just the nutrition I was looking for to get me through!

In a choice of dried fruit, between apricots, mango or pineapple, apricots win, but I would mind mixing all three in to individual servings for race day. They sell dried fruit at our local bulk foods-Amish market (it's THE best to visit if you are ever in the area), so it's easily attainable and dividable. And consumable. ;)

Dried fruit is super portable in a ziploc, something I can carry in my belt during my half in May, or in throw in to my carry on for my trip to Boston the week after. I already like to throw them in a bag with almonds or other yummy ingredients, stashing them in a pocket or backpack when I head to the race track.

Easy. Peasy.

What hasn't been easy? Maintenance.

One can easily look at the MyFitnessPal weight loss counter up to the right on the page and see I'm no longer at 115 pounds down. In recent weeks, I've really struggled, especially today after stepping on the scale to see a number I had not expected. That's why you're getting memes and GIFs for this post. (I'm secretly trying to brighten my day with humor. I'll surf the humor board on Pinterest after this for a quick laugh.)

I haven't been able to find a "happy medium" - that magic number of calories burned versus calories consumed to maintain a constant weight. I've gained 9 pounds since October, and I'm starting to get frustrated in that I haven't been able to stay consistent, even if I've kept my caloric intake on most days around 1500-1600. *Exception here or there on run days for rewards. I'm definitely not eating over 3500 calories per week.



Nothing has worked.

I've buckled down on measuring food, cut calories consumed thinking I'm eating too much, increased calories consumed thinking maybe I'm not eating enough. The only thing I haven't done is work out more, as I'm already tapped as it is with half training/running. For a few months, strength training was involved, so I just blamed the gain on "muscle weight," however in the past few weeks, I've slipped off a bit, only running three times per week. But 9 pounds?! I'm not sitting here eating Ben & Jerry's for dinner like I used to.

Bottom line: I just want to find that happy balance of activity and food consumed. I want to have a good relationship with food, and to live. I haven't, and in the process, I feel like I'm failing, even if that's truly not the case. The weight is going back on just as fast as it came off; I'm going in the wrong direction.

Whoever said maintenance was harder than the actual weight loss was easier than maintenance (to which I had mocked them saying, 'Yeah, right.') - you nailed it. I'm sorry I even questioned it.

But in the search of that happy medium, I have a new toy. My loving husband knew how badly I wanted the Fitbit Charge HR, an activity band that not only calculates calories burned, steps taken, stairs climbed, etc. - this one includes a heart rate monitor to more accurately track what I burn in activity. I wanted something I could wear daily, an activity tracker that can better assist me in maintaining health, yet push me to be better. So far, so good, however it's pointed out how sedentary my work day really is.

So in this, I'm throwing every idea in the book, including increasing activity or scheduling an appointment with my doctor to see what my next course of action should be. I'm also considering seeing a nutritionist to help out, and to help me find that balance of happy with food.

In the meantime, positive vibes are much appreciated. I'll keep plugging away as I always do. I'm so very thankful I'm even able to be on this journey. Many are far less fortunate than I am in whatever may be going on in their lives, I'm lucky and know that I am blessed for this experience.

If I could just be blessed with a bit more patience... (Don't laugh Mr. K.)

I'm Only Human

I've fallen off the wagon.

Actually? It hit a bump, threw me off, backed up, and ran over me.

What can I say? I've ate like total sh*t lately. I've tried to clean it up, but I feel miserable. And guilty.

I really have tried, with good intention, but ya know that little thing I always mention about my stress eating? Times it by a zillion in the past few weeks.

I feel horrible. I feel disgusting. I'm stressed, emotional, and a total wreck, and I've ate like it too.

Not only have I used the excuse that "I'll be running tomorrow/tonight/next week/God knows when so have at it sister," today we laid my mother in law to rest after an incredibly stressful three weeks; three weeks I hope to never repeat again in my life.

So how bad has my eating got? Try six cookies for dinner Sunday night to the point I had a bellyache and couldn't sleep. What did I eat tonight, when all intents were to make a huge/yummy/leftover-veggie salad? A slice of banana bread and a split blueberry muffin with loads of honey butter.

I keep saying, "tomorrow is a new day," but for some reason, I don't believe myself. I've cheated myself, not only with food and calories, but I've made myself feel this way; the guilt, shame, and embarrassment because I've "let myself go." (Granted, I know it's only been three weeks, but come on. It's a slippery slope, folks.)

Yes, I've gained weight. Has it been much? No. Just 1.6 pounds, but I feel miserable. I can just tell the difference.

So my goal for this next week? Clean it up.

I'm not saying no more sweets, just sweets in moderation (not inhaling at the site of goodies). I'm a firm believe that moderation is okay; you absolutely cannot deprive yourself because it just makes it worse. I want to be able to have one or two sweet treats a week, but limit myself, as I know I feel much, much better when I'm eating better (in addition to running and working out).

I feel better about myself when I feel healthy. Since feeling better about myself was my resolution for 2014, I want to focus on it again. Get away from the crap, if you will.

In addition to all of the craziness Mr. K and I've faced in the past few weeks, one positive note is that I've kept with my half marathon training, as it's been a way for me to let go and de-stress. I've kept on schedule, and things are starting to take shape. I'm actually doing it! Ha! Who knew?!

I have officially ordered my second pair of running shoes, going with Brooks Ghost 6 again (which I love!), after finding out I should have replaced them a loooooong time ago. No wonder I've had calf soreness? #facepalm

While testing out new shoes (I also love the Newton Gravity's!) by running up and down the sidewalk like a madwoman running through town, I also picked up some nutrition to start giving it a shot. I'm at the point to where my long runs are now six miles or more lasting longer than an hour, and after running and bonking during 5 miles last week, it's time to start testing out what I like, what makes me sick, and what just won't work. This is a whoooooooole new adventure, folks.

Here's what I went with to test out first:

The gels are freaking me out a little, as I'm not crazy about the texture anyway, but I also picked up chews and sport beans to give them a shot. It's all about experimenting, seeing what works, what fuels me longer, and what just won't do.

In addition, this week's scheduled long run Saturday is 6 miles. At first, (because I'm a total dork and can't count on one hand to save my life), I had thought I was supposed to run a scheduled 10K or 7 miles this week. Well, that's next week. But conveniently, a local high school is hosting a 5k run/walk and 10k run, benefiting one of their student clubs. Why not, right? I do plan to take some nutrition with me, as I want to test it out at about mile 4 or 45 minutes in to running, whichever comes first. (It just won't be a gel. I don't want to get sick in front of people I know!)

I've also reached out to a few runner-friends and acquaintances from the community who I know have ran half marathons or full marathons before. I've had lots of wonderful advice shared with me, including tips about nutrition, tips about the Mini itself, tips about not eating Bengay (when thinking it's an energy gel, tips about getting clothes from clearance racks to shed/donate to charity when dressing in layers the day of the race, while also making sure I shed my earbuds shortly before entering Indianapolis Motor Speedway to hear bagpipers along the route. Knowing cheerleading squads cheering your name (listed on your bib), bands, bagpipers, and amazing volunteers will line the entire 13.1 mile route, while participating in not only one of the biggest half marathons in the nation, causes me to have instant goosebumps. You name it, it's all been passed on to me, and I am extremely grateful for the wealth of information leading up to race day! With this being my first half, I'm nervous, as expected, since it's pretty much fear of the unknown. I'm trying to do my best to prep for the race, and even though I'm nervous, I'm also very excited.

Closer to race day, I'll also have more information available, usually about the week before, regarding social media, race details, maps, etc. I plan to register both my Twitter account and Facebook information so that family, friends, and acquaintances can follow along during my race via automatic updates from my bib chip. What did we ever do before technology?! (This makes me geek out because I can't wait for you all to share in my progress too!)

In addition, I've also set my three personal goals for the race:

• Finish. (AKA: Don't die.)
• Stay off the trail bus. (Picking up anyone over the required 18 min/mile pace.)
• Kiss some bricks ;)

The 500 Festival Mini Marathon is officially just 50 days away and counting!