Go Time. Again.

A day or so ago I was trying to come up with a witty tagline of sorts - one that I could use to anchor a post for the Mini. I failed.

I can't believe it's almost a year since my first half marathon and here I sit at the end of training x's 2, months of "mental blocks," stomach issues, discipline, frozen tundra and dreadmill runs, and I'm one day out from my second half marathon with the Ragnar Relay: Cape Cod less than a week away. It's intimidating, but I cannot wait until I step foot in Boston Logan and get that journey going, after crossing the finish line in Indianapolis.

Committing to training is always daunting, in addition to thinking of two major runs in two weeks. Additionally, remember last year, about six weeks before the Indy Mini when I tweaked my foot? Less than three weeks out and my OTHER foot was tweaked. Naturally.

I ran a pattern consisting of my highest mileage of training with run 1 consisting of 5 miles, run 2 consisting of 4 miles, and the long run consisting of 11 a few weeks ago. I chose to break them up (I still swear I have Runner's ADD - squirrel), moving run 2 to Saturday morning, running 6 miles on Saturday afternoon (of which I completed), then finishing my remaining 5 miles on Sunday afternoon. All was smooth until run 3's remaining 1/2 mile. I stopped and walked home, as I tweaked a tendon in my left foot. After going through a series of ultrasound/steroid therapy sessions, rest, and freezing my ass off with a bag of frozen peas on my foot, I'm healed. For now. In the last two weeks I've only ran three times, with Sunday totaling 7.5 miles after working an event of which I primarily stood/ran around. Close enough?

I still plan to cross the finish line in Indianapolis however I'm letting go the possibility of finishing less than 2 hours and 30 minutes with the past few weeks not going exactly to plan. I want to remain healthy for Ragnar and if I don't even complete the Mini sub 2:30... I've still completed it, and the feeling of crossing the finish never feels sweeter listening to closing laps of various historical Indy 500 races.

Finishing last year's #IndyMini.

...this coming from the girl who two years ago couldn't run a 1/4 mile.

I'm thinking like the little engine that could. I played my training in the past few weeks smart, hitting the bike or elliptical for no-impact workouts when ordered to rest from impact (my longest run last year of training was 8.5 miles, and I completed 13.1 still), simulating runs while also keeping my aerobic base up. Does it suck? Absolutely. Even though I've had to shift my goals a bit from completing sub-2:30 to just beating last year's 2:43, the main goal remains - don't die, kiss some bricks (see below for kiss #1), but most importantly - enjoy every minute.

Run or Dye at IMS - August, 2013

My corral has been assigned, and I'm no longer in the last wave. (Woohoo! Movin' on up.....!) My bib number this year is 21121 (Heyyyyyyyy, hey Brooksie!), and I'm off in the 4th wave - approx. 8:30 am.

You can track me by downloading Indy Mini's app from the App Store or Android's marketplace, however you can also log in at IndyMini.com and search my bib no. 21121. From there, you'll be able to either track me by text, website, or email, however you can also follow me on Twitter @AshleyK199. I've set up automatic tweets for each split I hit - the Start Line, the first 5K mark, the famed Indianapolis Motor Speedway's Yard of Bricks (pucker up, buttercup!), the 11th mile (almost there!), and the Finish Line (#beerme).

Am I prepared? Hell no. Does that matter? Well kinda, but I'm not stressing too much. The plan? Take it easy - run my own race, and take the run as it comes; hopefully I can PR and ring the bell but I'm not sweating it - not with Ragnar and taking in Cape Cod by foot in less than a week.

Speaking of Ragnar - I really haven't had a chance to think about the upcoming run. I've been splitting up Mini training to get used to running on tired legs, but after final exams, starting an internship this past week, and trying to cram something else (you'll know more soon) in this week, yeah......... I've ran three times in the past two weeks. ...but that doesn't matter.

How effing cool is this course?!

 What matters is that this wild and crazy journey begins next Thursday, joining my teammate Carly at Dayton International for our trip to Boston via Philly. I've only met Carly once in person however after meeting her, we haven't gone one day without chatting somehow whether it's through text or Facebook messenger. Between her and my other teammate/sister-from-another-mister Dacia, they're the only two I "know;" our team has got to know one another, what we've accomplished, and what we're hoping to accomplish through this crazy relay-thing via technology. I'm not sure how I functioned prior to today's ever-changing technology, but we've been able to get to know each other through a team-only Facebook page, in addition to conference planning calls and such. My only goal for Ragnar is to learn about one another, their journeys and stories, while enjoying every minute. It's not every day someone gets the opportunity to run Cape Cod by foot, and quite honestly, I never thought five years ago this would be possible.

I truly believe if you're fervid and driven, putting hard work and your mind towards a goal or dream (or both) you wish to achieve, you're capable of anything - especially if it makes you come alive.
 

Eventually I'll have tracking info via Twitter and Facebook, as one of our teammates has rented a GPS tracker that will show where the runner is currently located within our 200-mile journey. In addition to all of that, you know darn well we'll be chronicling our journey via social media - including Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. You can also follow along and share in our journey by following #RunningDownRagnar on various social media outlets!

Last but not least, make sure to also check out our team's website at RunningDownOurDreams.com.

See you guys on the flip side of Ragnar! (...and be prepared for one epic blog post.)

Going "Au Naturale"

...and before you think I'm going to bare anything, stop right there. Nooooooooo way will that happen. Not with me.

As I've said before, I'm currently training for my second half marathon, in addition to the Ragnar Relay Cape Cod. (...while in school, searching for an internship, working full-time, working part-time. I do sleep. I swear it.) But in my recovery experience from my first half marathon (AKA: 'Satan's Wrath'), and the fact I'm starting my longer runs that span over an hour, I've started to research and scope out a refueling plan. This is the fun part, at least I think so, since I get to eat!

...and yes, on long runs, runners get to eat. It's a 1/3 part relief, 1/3 part prevention of bonking or "hitting the wall," and 1/3 part chaotic coordination and realization of not having enough hands.

For the Mini, and even in my maintenance (lately, weight-gain) phase, or "continuation of living," I've been trying to introduce and focus on increasing more natural foods and minimal-ingredient choices in my diet. Well, it's worked as I feel better physically, however I've gained about 9 of my 115 pound loss back, in addition to an inch on my waist. It's frustrating me currently (a pain in my ass and thorn in my side), especially when I've been trying to focus on watching what I eat. In that same breath, I'm also trying to focus on being happy, eating a cupcake if I I want it, though after working hard for it (through running, workouts, etc.). Oh, the conundrum.

(Translation: I want to eat THE ENTIRE PAN OF BROWNIES and not gain an ounce. Funny how that hasn't worked.)

In my quest for mid-run fuel, I'm hoping to go the 'au naturale' route, or at least natural or more raw foods to help sustain me, versus using goops, gels, chomps, etc. I didn't have the best experience with what I used last year, though I believe I was rather dehydrated and not replacing fluids as one should. To put it mildly - I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone. (Also: I'm a dumbass. When they say don't change up your routine on race day, don't change up on your race day. Rookie mistake.)

I've thrown around a few options, including supplements from a nutrition store, using chews or gummy blocks to get me through again this year, but I want to avoid processed sugars, manufactured ingredients, etc. Thankfully, I've found a few options or ideas for "natural" fuel through Runner's World and...

...Pinterest.

All truth.

I'm not only looking for 'Hey Girl' memes, folks. (But this one did make me laugh... Just passing on a smile, and Ryan Gosling. *Swoon.* You're welcome.)

Uh. Yes.

I'm totally digressing, here.

Typically, if you're only working out for an hour-ish or shorter (75 minutes per Runner's World), replacing "fuel in your tank" isn't needed until after; however, since I'll be pounding out 13.1 for over two hours (goal: sub-2:30 and laying a wet-one on the famed "yard of bricks"), I will need something. Last year, I refueled around mile 9 to push me through, after completing my lap around the track, and it seemed to be the boost I needed.

...but in my quest for suggestions to give a more natural fuel source a shot, I've found a good article on Greatist outlining options other than just the "typical" choices.

Wait.

Gummy Bears?! Twizzlers?! Mini-marshmallows like my mom used to buy for hot chocolate?!

I like training. Training's fun!

Now, before I get my hopes up, I'm not planning to opt for those, though I have considered throwing a gummy bear or two in my "fuel tank" for reward. On the list, though, is dried fruit. It didn't smack me in the face that I could use dried fruit, as it's low in protein and fiber, until last night. (Fellow runners will understand the importance - there is nothing worse than having a ticked off tummy, running toward the nearest port-o-let, not the finish line. I'll spare the rest.)

What I'm in search of is something like dried fruit - fuel that's low in protein, low in fiber, high in carbohydrates (since that's what your body is using to run for so long - it's suggested for every hour running, you should replace 30-60g of carbohydrates), with some sodium included, (you sweat out salt, too) but lower in calories. Dried fruit isn't the best in calories or sugars, but after running for 2 1/2 hours, that isn't really my concern; completion, survival, success and quick recovery is my concern.

While visiting my mom last night back home briefly, we were discussing her latest finds at Trader Joe's, one of her favorite stores. One of her if only I could sneak them out purchases was dried apricots. I LOVE dried apricots, and used to eat them quite frequently as a kid.

(Please note: I've tried using pitted dates before to run with, but dates are not my favorite dried fruit, nor are they easy to handle during a run. Hands get sticky, they stick to my teeth, it's just not pleasant. I want something "pleasant.")

While scoping out her score, I flipped the package of dried apricots over, and...

Would ya look at that?

Just the nutrition I was looking for to get me through!

In a choice of dried fruit, between apricots, mango or pineapple, apricots win, but I would mind mixing all three in to individual servings for race day. They sell dried fruit at our local bulk foods-Amish market (it's THE best to visit if you are ever in the area), so it's easily attainable and dividable. And consumable. ;)

Dried fruit is super portable in a ziploc, something I can carry in my belt during my half in May, or in throw in to my carry on for my trip to Boston the week after. I already like to throw them in a bag with almonds or other yummy ingredients, stashing them in a pocket or backpack when I head to the race track.

Easy. Peasy.

What hasn't been easy? Maintenance.

One can easily look at the MyFitnessPal weight loss counter up to the right on the page and see I'm no longer at 115 pounds down. In recent weeks, I've really struggled, especially today after stepping on the scale to see a number I had not expected. That's why you're getting memes and GIFs for this post. (I'm secretly trying to brighten my day with humor. I'll surf the humor board on Pinterest after this for a quick laugh.)

I haven't been able to find a "happy medium" - that magic number of calories burned versus calories consumed to maintain a constant weight. I've gained 9 pounds since October, and I'm starting to get frustrated in that I haven't been able to stay consistent, even if I've kept my caloric intake on most days around 1500-1600. *Exception here or there on run days for rewards. I'm definitely not eating over 3500 calories per week.



Nothing has worked.

I've buckled down on measuring food, cut calories consumed thinking I'm eating too much, increased calories consumed thinking maybe I'm not eating enough. The only thing I haven't done is work out more, as I'm already tapped as it is with half training/running. For a few months, strength training was involved, so I just blamed the gain on "muscle weight," however in the past few weeks, I've slipped off a bit, only running three times per week. But 9 pounds?! I'm not sitting here eating Ben & Jerry's for dinner like I used to.

Bottom line: I just want to find that happy balance of activity and food consumed. I want to have a good relationship with food, and to live. I haven't, and in the process, I feel like I'm failing, even if that's truly not the case. The weight is going back on just as fast as it came off; I'm going in the wrong direction.

Whoever said maintenance was harder than the actual weight loss was easier than maintenance (to which I had mocked them saying, 'Yeah, right.') - you nailed it. I'm sorry I even questioned it.

But in the search of that happy medium, I have a new toy. My loving husband knew how badly I wanted the Fitbit Charge HR, an activity band that not only calculates calories burned, steps taken, stairs climbed, etc. - this one includes a heart rate monitor to more accurately track what I burn in activity. I wanted something I could wear daily, an activity tracker that can better assist me in maintaining health, yet push me to be better. So far, so good, however it's pointed out how sedentary my work day really is.

So in this, I'm throwing every idea in the book, including increasing activity or scheduling an appointment with my doctor to see what my next course of action should be. I'm also considering seeing a nutritionist to help out, and to help me find that balance of happy with food.

In the meantime, positive vibes are much appreciated. I'll keep plugging away as I always do. I'm so very thankful I'm even able to be on this journey. Many are far less fortunate than I am in whatever may be going on in their lives, I'm lucky and know that I am blessed for this experience.

If I could just be blessed with a bit more patience... (Don't laugh Mr. K.)

A Battle Within

I'm not going to lie, I've been struggling a bit lately when it comes to body image, the number on the scale, and what I see in the mirror. I have days where I feel absolutely fantastic about myself, proud of what I've accomplished, days I don't really think about it, and days where I'm still ashamed of the flab/loose skin/stretch marks/cellulite that still exists, negative voices secretly whispering in my mind to rip the mirror off of the wall. I see the fitness models and images I gain inspiration from through Instagram/Twitter/Facebook that help keep the "drive alive" when it comes to getting fitter/better/faster/stronger/leaner each day, but some days it makes me even more ashamed of who I am. Some days I crave to look like a beast; other days I realize I don't want to put that much time in each day at the gym because, to put it bluntly, I have a life. I have husband and a four-legged child I adore and love, a full-time job, a part-time "job," another part-time job, a school life, and somewhere in the middle, a social life too. I love to travel, I love to spend time with family, and I love to be myself. But some days, my thoughts can get lost or convoluted...

To be honest, even if I have lost 110+ lbs., even if I lost a "baby horse," a person, whatever you want to justify it with, I still have days where I find myself feeling awful about the way I look.

...as you may or may not have read in my last post, I started weight training. Though I had thinned out and was able to "run" off quite a bit of weight/mass, I didn't have much muscle tone throughout my upper body and midsection. I wanted to change this so, after the Mini Marathon, I decided to back off my miles to something manageable for me, 8-9 miles/week average, or run at least 3 times a week, 1/2 hour at a time, with two days (at least) of strength training.

So far, strength training has blessed me with what appears to be obliques and a line running between my bicep and deltoid on my upper arm. (Side note: I squealed like a little girl the same as when I found my jawline or collar bone for the first time.) I do monitor my measurements more, but what I've found most difficult to deal with is the fact I've gained back about five pounds according to that pesky number on the scale.

I'm sure you're thinking, "big whoop, Ash. You've lost a metric crap-ton of weight." Well, for me, it's just like buffets. It's a slippery slope; a slope I don't want to have to climb back up. With buffets, or an abundance of food available, I have a hard time managing how much I eat. I'll keep eating until the point of sickness, especially with sweets. If I get around food, my mind honestly turns to mush. I'm like a zombie searching for brains to feast (and I will tackle someone standing between me and cake).
I have a very difficult time saying no, and give in to temptation way too easily.

...and I eat irrationally with emotions during difficult times.

Seeing the number on the screen creep back up has caused me to crack down, taking myself out of a difficult "food" situation, and trying to track every single thing I put in my mouth. And even though I've been focusing on it, with weight training, I've slowly watched my weight creep up the scale still. Now, of course you hear "muscle weighs more than fat." I don't necessarily think that's true. Sure, muscle is much more dense than fat, however one pound of fat is one pound of muscle. It's just a difference in mass & size.

I track calories every day using My Fitness Pal. It's easy, you can scan UPC barcodes for nutrition information, and set goals, whether it's nutrition or exercise levels.

Typically, I limit myself to 1400 calories/day, however I bend here and there every once in a while for a splurge. I try to limit them as much as possible, and eat as "clean" as I can, but I'm only human. Lately though, I feel as if I haven't been eating enough, or that my body is going in to "starvation mode." I've been gaining where I should be losing, in that I haven't been "eating back" calories burnt while running or working out, and only going over my daily calorie limit here and there, in hopes of losing that pesky five pounds I've put back on.

Plateaus can go kick rocks.

After speaking with a few "weight loss"  buddies, friends, and a family member who also is a fantastic Zumba/Spin/Piyo instructor and personal trainer, I've decided to bump up my calories a few, to 1600 a day at least to see where it gets me. Maybe it's that I need to eat more to lose? It is possible afterall, and is a common weight loss myth.

...but just eating more calories doesn't mean you will eat more to lose, you have to eat more of the right things.

 ...and you have to persevere.

:)

Currently...

I've been stalking reading Dacia's blog 'My Roots to Grow' again, and she's giving me another awesome idea for a blog post! I love her post Currently, borrowed from another blog I've started reading, Fit and Free with Emily.

So here it goes!

Thinking

It's finally May, my favorite month of the year to be a Hoosier. The Indianapolis 500 is a holiday much like Christmas in the motorsports world, and it's almost here! I've been watching the sports coverage on local news outlets obsessively, following the drivers I love and cheer for on Twitter, Instragram, and others, showcasing our wonderful state capitol, and the love of such a historic event they have, as much as I do.

For as long as I can remember, I've been mesmerized by my Opa's stories of the "good ole days" of Mario, A.J., Al and several others from the days he worked at Indianapolis Motor Speedway, skipping out on work at a local grocery store as a butcher to compete in the annual chili cook off with Ma Unser or spending long days and longer nights hanging around the garage area while the world's best race car drivers compete for the Borg Warner trophy and a kiss of the bricks. He's the reason I'm such a huge racing enthusiast.

Also, the weather has finally turned, and I'm finally able to get back to the dirt track. Bring on summer!

Feeling

Relieved. My Spring semester is over, and I survived Statistics with an A (along with an A+ in Business & Society). I still have my 4.0 GPA. Highly thankful for that!

Watching

The NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs, of course! However, I've slacked a bit since Washington is tumultuous, and the Columbus Blue Jackets were eliminated by the Pittsburgh Penguins... but what a series that was!

Excited

...for my upcoming trip to the east coast! It won't technically be my first visit there, however a layover in the Newark, NJ airport doesn't count, so it'll be my first "overnight" stay, and I plan to take full advantage of the four days I have in Boston, Mass. I alluded to not being in Indiana for the first time since I can remember during Memorial/Race weekend for the Indianapolis 500, and Boston is where I will be! I'm heading out to spend a few days within downtown Boston, then taking the train west of the city to visit a special friend. I can't wait to see you Robin!

Side note: In talking with a coworker who grew up in the city, I shared my amazement that I could take a "water taxi" from the ferry dock at Boston Logan across the harbor to Long Wharf as opposed to the T, or subway for us out-of-towners. It'd give me a welcoming view of the Boston skyline, and I opted for this, as I felt it was a great introduction to the city! He proceeded to give me a look of amazement before busting out laughing. All I could think to say was, "we don't have boat taxis in Indiana, much less a subway system."

Missing

Thunder & Lightning, as my Opa preciously refers to my two favorite hoodlums. I'm really missing my niece and nephew and I can't wait to see them again soon. They always know how to make their aunt laugh!

In talking with my mom on the phone last night, she shared with me she waited for my nephew to get off of the bus from school the other day, and while they were swinging in the backyard, he out of the blue asked how I was:

"Mamaw Jill, how's Aunt Ashley?"

"She's doing really good buddy, her and Uncle (Mr. K)."

"Well, that's good."

"Do you remember seeing all of those runners on the TV last weekend?"

"Yes, Mamaw Jill, I do."

"Your Aunt Ashley was there. She ran that day with ALL of those other runners!"

"What was her number?!"

"Your Aunt Ashley's number was 26446." "Wow, Mamaw Jill, that's so cool!" (This made me cry while smiling. I miss that boy!)

Reading

...a book that finally isn't considered "required reading material." Thank goodness for summer break! I just sat down to start Janet Guthrie's biography:

Wondering

What tomorrow will bring! I plan to run for the first time since the half marathon, as I decided to just take a week off to recover, especially after the stomach flu/Satan's wrath of a recovery I had, and that it lingered for a few days this week. I'll be running a local 5k to benefit a local horse stable that offers therapeutic riding and lessons.

Working

It's that time of year again at my in-law's farm, and Mr. K has been hard at work preparing the fields for #Plant14. This year, we're drilling soybeans (again, I think...), and the field has been tilled, weeds sprayed, and now we wait a week until the actual "drilling" begins. It's not much land compared to some local farmers, but I see how much Mr. K enjoys himself when he's on the tractor. I also love riding along when I get the chance, either on the fenderwell of the Farmall while tilling, or scrunched up in the cab while planting. I didn't grow up on a farm, but yet in a small town where agriculture is still a huge part of life for many. I was a proud 4-H'er, my twin showing hogs while in high school and helping with them, but I have such a huge appreciation for what farmers do. It's their livelihood. Simple as this: We farm. You eat. And I appreciate Mr. K and my father-in-law's patience when I ask the dumbest questions ;)

Stressed

...when am I not? Next section...

Proud

I'm so proud of my "Mini Me," my niece Kaylyn. My niece is on this Earth all because of a lifesaving heart surgery at four days old under the care of Riley Children's Hospital in Indianapolis. The days after she was born were some of the longest days of my life, not knowing how she was or how she would be affected later in life by a congenital heart defect. At first, it was something we thought could've been fixed somewhere during the first six months of her life (no biggie). That didn't exactly happen, but because of that surgery, and her awesome cardiologist and his team, I get to see her grow in to the young woman she's rapidly becoming. Quickly. (And I don't like that!) This week, she had her yearly check up, and she's all-clear! The doctor is ecstatic with her progress, and I'm so dang proud of her. (...and proud that she's picking up on my love of motorsports. My corruption is working!)

Wanting

Ice Cream. Ugh.

Wishing

...I could call up my mother in law to wish her a Happy Mother's Day.

This week has been incredibly hard on Mr. K and I, as my mother in law would've celebrated both her birthday and Mother's Day this week. Instead, we reflected, celebrated the time we had with her, and shed many tears. This weekend is going to be brutal, and I only wish I could just pop over to the farm while Mr. K's in the field, to hang out with her in the kitchen. But I can't.

Eating

...waaaaaaaay too many damn sweets. I've been on a bit of a Pinterest tear, and my sweet tooth has been craving overtime. It's something that's always a work in progress to tone down, but I'm going in to next week with the goal of limiting my sugar intake. It's really getting out of control.

Drinking

Mucho water. Ever since the Mini Marathon/Stomach Flu/Satan's Recovery Wrath, I've been super thirsty, and I've been drinking plenty of needed water. Also, trying to curb cravings, but clearly we see how that's working...

Loving

Brantley Gilbert. Sorry Mr. K! I've recently found myself on the verge of obsession with songs off of his soon to be released album, including "My Baby's Guns and Roses," and this one:

"...that girl from Indiana sure was pretty..."

His and Hers

My coworker suggested I write about, as...in her words, "it's too funny not to."...but I'm going to spare you with the details (and humorous marriage story, for sake of Mr. K).

As with any marriage, you have his and you have hers. It could be the "pile of beauty crap" I have on my shelf in the bathroom versus his one stick of deodorant, razor, toothbrush, and toothpaste on his. It could be my car preference versus his truck. He doesn't run. He thinks I'm crazy (though I'm sure I am) for running, but I love it. He likes to relax on vacation, I like to explore. He's relaxed and watches the world go by, allowing negativity to roll off of his back; I dig in deep to ensure I'm enjoying said world, while also being slightly OCD about it.

...but "His and Hers" also applies to our food. We have two very different tastes when it comes to our palates, but I always say, "opposites attract." He's a meat and potatoes guy with no interest in "foliage" or "greenery," while in my weight loss journey, I can't get enough of lean meats, fruits, and veggies (but with a vicious sweet-tooth). There have been several times I've thought to myself, "Wow. His and hers meals, huh?"

Tonight's big debate for dinner? Pizza. Specifically a particular company's offering; one slice compares to the amount of calories I consume in one meal. Usually when I know we're getting pizza, I try to buffer it with a HUGE salad first, so I can enjoy a slice or two rather than inhale an entire pie. However, said company doesn't offer a side salad, and "salad" in my refrigerator is nonexistent until I grocery shop tomorrow. Dilemma.

I'll be perfectly honest, all I want to do is eat the entire pizza. I know I won't stop if I don't have that buffer; I've had that problem before, and I have that problem when going to buffets (it's why I avoid them at all costs if I can), as I try to control portion at all costs. I have a horrible issue with 'portion distortion,' even after four-plus years of weight loss, but I try to combat it with measuring foods, dividing them out, using a food scale, and planning my meal-day ahead, as I usually stick to goals easier that way.

But, but.... Pizza. It's my favorite.

As I've said before, I'm a firm believer in moderation over deprivation. If you cut something completely out of your diet you enjoy, you will crave it at one time or another. I promise you that. And there are times where one should just enjoy themselves, enjoy the moment, and throw calorie-caution to the wind. But after the Mini Marathon, my diet has slacked and I've really tried to clean things up this week to no avail. My sweet tooth (and Pinterest recipe ideas) strike again!

...and poor Mr. K - he's in the line of fire. All he wants is this certain kind of pizza, it's been a while since we've had it, but since they don't offer any side salads or additional foods that aren't 1,000 calories a slice, I'm struggling, and he heard about it. (To which I'm very sorry and feel absolutely horrible in the way it was delivered to Mr. K. He pushed for pizza, resulting in me panicking over pizza-hoarding desperation. I don't trust myself with food, but really Ash? Suck it up and let him have the damn pizza.)

...but as with anything I eat, I adapt. I'm currently planning on still ordering said pizza, but sticking to what I know - loading my half of that bad boy down with nothing but veggies (light on the cheese), and limiting myself to what I can have. I'm also planning to stop by the grocery to pick up a prepackaged side salad to eat as my buffer.

For me, I know preplanning works best, especially in situations like this, as know Mr. K likes what he likes (despite my insistence on giving some things a try, or others the boot; poor guy), so an extra side trip it is!

How do you adapt or handle this situation? Comment below, and share with me and others your stories, issues, or situations, and most importantly - how you adapt to challenging food situations. I'd definitely love to hear your ideas!

C25K Progress and Other Updates...

Blogger's Note: I'm really sorry I haven't had a chance to update everyone on my progress of late. School has officially taken over my life...again...but I promise I will try to update everyone on a more regular basis. I had a streak going for a bit, but I also will have a bit more "adventures" once I begin my next challenge to fill folks in on. More on that below....

Nine weeks. It's been nine weeks since I've had the all clear to run. Nine weeks since my recovery process "ended," and I could get back to my somewhat-normal active lifestyle again. How do I know? Upon completion of my typical Wednesday night between-work-and-class run, I will have completed the Couch to 5K program. Again. (Phew.)

As much as I cannot stand (sic: hate with every depth of my being) the dreadmill treadmill, it's absolutely wonderful to be able to run again. I'm much happier getting sweaty (don't take that the wrong way, folks), I'm happier being able to just get out whatever stress or aggression I have that day by pounding fake-moving-pavement. I'm happier dealing with people when I'm running. )Be happy I'm running, ladies and gents. You wonder how nice I am each day? I run.) ;)

...but in the midst of running, I've also picked up strength training. I gave the kettlebell a bit of a go, however I've started to slack off on it a bit, as I prefer to use a video to guide me and I'm just not home much during the week. (Plus, have you ever ran the day after kettlebell training? Don't. That's my advice. That was poor planning on my part.) I'm not a fan of lifting weights, as I need something "fun" to keep me engaged, not repetitive motion, while staring at my self struggling in a mirror. However the more I lift, the more strength I gain, and the more muscle definition I see (I've got guns...), the more I want to work at it. I don't pour sweat like I do while running, however I definitely feel it the next day. Or day after. Or the third day in some cases... I've also started to focus on a few areas of my body that I want to tone, areas that have a bit more loose skin than I'd like. I'm starting to get biceps, my triceps are bit less jiggly (bye-bye batwings!), and my abs hurt when I laugh. That's a good sign, right?

But in toning, I'm also seeing my measurements shrink, (which is awesome)! I've shifted my focus to less scale, more measurements in numbers (that could be an entire blog in itself), as the scale hasn't been much of a good guide as of late. It's been hard to shift my thinking. I'm not even going to lie... Ever hear muscle weighs more than fat? Yeah... I've been able to maintain my weight "number," if not gain pounds in some instances, but my jeans still fit and I'm seeing muscle tone and definition with what I'm working on. It's a total mind-shift, just as "dressing thinner," and thinking more "my size" were, and they weren't easy, but as I always say - I'm a work in progress.

And in speaking of the gym, I'm starting to get a little more comfortable walking in, buckling down, and getting to work. When I first walked in to the gym that I use, (on my college campus; free for students, and it's pretty nice, but I've never used a gym before, period) I panicked. I'm not even kidding. It's like my mind melted. I had my game plan: treadmill. I thought, "Really Ashley? You're going to let these youngins' intimidate you?" To which I replied, "Well, yeah. Look at them. It's the f**king track team working out in there. You're 27. You don't belong. You can't run like the wind."

Guess what? A few treadmill/weight sessions in, I'm showing those 'youngins' who's boss...

(Kidding! Really, I'm still puny, and I'm not "boss." But hey, I try. That's what counts. Right?)

Anyway... Moving on...

I'm a goal-driven person. I think I've mentioned that on here before, but I need something to focus on. A prize to "eye" if you will... With completing the Couch to 5k program tomorrow night, it puts me back in position for the half-marathon hunt. Prior to May....  :) (See my Bucket List.)

May is my favorite month of the year by far, just as many other Hoosiers would tell you. I live for this month for one reason: the Indy 500. But every year, we kick the month off with the Mini Marathon, usually the first weekend in May.  And it's been squarely on my Bucket List since before I lost my weight. I've always dreamed of completing it, and was in great position pre-December to work towards it. Knee surgery pretty much derailed what I thought wouldn't happen in 2014, however with getting back into the running-groove, I signed up.

I just did it one day. I found myself whipping out the credit card and saying, "to hell with it. Go big or go home, Ash." Coworkers, friends, and acquaintances alike said that even with being about four weeks behind the day of the race, I still would have a good shot at safely completing it, if I run and walk. My goal is to just complete 13.1 - walk, run, or crawl. It's my first, so time isn't a concern of mine. (The trail bus is, though.) I've also contacted a friend of mine from high school regarding the Mini, a runner and former prom date (that's another convo for another day, but it has a pretty cool background story). I asked him if he and another classmate of ours were planning to run the Mini again this year, as they have completed it before. He hadn't given much thought to it until I asked, but he agreed he'd run it with me (after warning him I'm slower than a herd of turtles). I do feel a little relieved that someone will be there with me, however it's just me and the pavement.... (Ok. I'll be honest, though: I'm petrified about the half.)

Now if the weather will just cooperate... (I'm dreading treadmill training if I have to run 4+ miles in one sitting. I'd rather fork my eyeballs out.)

Make sure to tune in for upcoming half-marathon training updates, as I'm sure I'll have plenty! I'm hoping to also start running "organized" 5k's again soon as I love them, once the weather turns for the better. I'm ready to be able to get outdoors and run the country roads again too, just as much as anyone else is ready for warmer weather.

I've got that itch! (Who knew?!)