Hearing 'No'

It stinks, I'll admit it. No one wants to hear 'no,' but at times, one must persevere. Press on. Don't look back.

Remember when I submitted my weight loss story to Shape Magazine for consideration of participation in a roundtable discussion with other women who've lost more than 100 pounds? You can read about the initial contact here.

I hadn't typed out or wrote down my feelings regarding a follow up I received because honestly, I wasn't sure how to feel.

Rejection stinks. Even if I've come this far. But I'm not bitter, not mad, not really anything. Now, I'm just kind of feeling, "Oh, well." Onward!

Recently, a few weeks ago (yes, I've been sitting on it for this long), I finally heard an update after a back-and-forth digital conversation with an editor of the magazine, that my weight loss story wasn't chosen for an upcoming roundtable discussion.

I would be lying if I said it didn't take the "wind from my sails." It stinks a bit, and I (unfortunately) let my mind wander to where my hopes were up, one thing I regret and wish I didn't do. But ultimately, that's who I am. I'm a person who hopes for the best possible outcome, while worrying obsessively preparing for the absolute worst. But, in addition, I'm also someone who looks for the positivity in everything, a "silver lining," if you will, regardless of outcome.

Sure, it would've been kind of cool, but it just wasn't meant to be.

Though it stinks, what surprised me in the days following was that I didn't consume myself with negative thoughts or "eating my feelings." In the past, I would've medicated my sorrow with everything sweet, looking for a way to ease the discomfort and rejection, ultimately making things a bit more uncomfortable by way of my waistline. Instead, I channeled what I felt in to my 10K and strength training - allowing me to "burn" my emotions instead of eating them. What a change (and relief) that was!

It felt good. It was a "Non Scale Victory" in my book - one that I'm glad I didn't let rule me for too long.

The outpouring of support after helped as well. Seeing the Facebook posts of support from friends, those that say I've inspired them, that was cool. It was refreshing, and a bit humbling. To those who have, thank you. (I can't ever say that enough!)

But as Mr. K reminded me, I didn't do this for recognition. (Which is very, very true. Something I guess I lost focus on?) And this isn't the end of the world, either. I'm not "depending" on it.

Yeah, it would've been kind of cool to see my story out there, but that's not why I started this journey. I started it for my own health and well-being. To have kids some day. So I live to see 80. So I live to see my niece and nephew grow up, graduate, and raise a family of their own (and hopefully someday - see an unborn child of my own follow those steps, though not right now).

Sure, there have been some side-benefits of my weight loss I hadn't expected: self-esteem, a needed confidence boost, inner- and outer-strength I never thought I had (or would have developed), a bit of kick in the pants mental-toughness (thank you, Mini Marathon), and the fact that I've grown comfortable with who I am while discovering someone "different" under all of those pounds shed. It's bittersweet, this news, but - this too shall pass.

Of course, I'm still dealing with a bit of weight gain, and the timing wasn't exactly the greatest. The weight gain has been somewhat aggravating, but at the same time, I'm starting to see that it may be a "good gain." I'm starting to see muscles. :)

I've recently discovered I have a bicep. I'll spare you the picture of my "guns," but it's fun to see definition show up in a mirror, and that I notice it! I'm kind of getting a little enjoyment out of it, as I've mentioned before, I don't typically notice the weight loss or definition gains, as I see myself everyday. But.... I. Have. A. Bicep. I've also started noticing my obliques are appearing. (Those are both new concepts!)

While I see the weight creeping up on the scale (six pounds in total), my measurements haven't increased (they haven't decreased either), and my pants are still fitting fine (depending on the brand/pair). For me, that's a concept I'm still struggling with accepting, as a number on the scale has defined my journey over physical/muscular gains. It's something I'm working on. Again - work in progress ;)

In addition to strength training, I'm in the next to last week of 10K training. (Woohoo!) Though I'm reaching the point I'm a bit over "training" and having discipline/burnout struggles, I'm excited to see where this 10K will take me. I'm running in the ISC Corporate Challenge again this year for my employer, opting for the 10K run over a 5K run and walk. The ISC Corporate Challenge has also changed venues, one that I've had the lovely pleasure of running twice before, once during my half marathon. (Hint, hint!)

The goals I have for the challenge are simple: enjoy the scenery (duh!), and beat my previous 10K time of 1:11:57 (or 11:18/mile). Easy, right? Meh - we'll see. Both were during cooler "weathered" events, and it might be a bit interesting. What else may be interesting? I'm not sure if the run is before or after (if I'm chosen for the team - still pending) I pit an Indy Car.

We'll leave the ISC Corporate Challenge at that... For now... ;)

In additition to the ISC Corporate Challenge, I hope to continue my City By Shoes series, this time in Asheville, NC! The hubby and I (my better half, Mr. K!) are planning to travel some time soon to the mountains for our (holy schmoly where did time go?!) 5 year anniversary, and we're both looking for a needed-getaway. Of course I'm planning to pack my running shoes, as the resort we are staying at not only offers a health spa/fitness center that appears to be wonderful, but also a "mountainous" trail for guests. But what I'm most excited about? The city is active-friendly, and there are sidewalks abound all the way in to downtown from our resort! Yay! No road running! (For those runners who may freak reading this, I live in the sticks. Running on a country road is normal. Don't fret!)

...and to help boost my mood (trust me, it has been much-needed), I decided to sign up for the 100 days of Happy Challenge, and you should too! So far, I've made it to Day 2, but what's eerie (or just another message from God?) is that my 100 days ends....on Christmas. How cool is that? You can follow my #100DaysofHappy challenge on my Instagram page: instagram.com/AshleyK199.

If you join in, post your information in the comment section below! I'd love to follow your 100 Days of Happy too! :)

It's Go Time!

Where have the last 22 days gone? Or the last few months of training for that matter?! I can’t believe it’s race-week already for my first half marathon, the OneAmerica 500 Festival Mini Marathon in Indianapolis.

Am I’m ready? Mentally, I’m actually better than I thought I’d be this week. I haven’t been super nervous, and as I picked up more race fuel yesterday I felt like I could tackle the world. But physically? No, I’m not ready. I haven’t been able to complete the plan according to schedule without a break for injury, but I’m as close as I can be and I won’t back down.

Through tapering and playing around with mileage, I’ve been able to run at least 9 miles during a long run, maintaining at least 12:00 min/mi, sometimes 12:30, however I’ve found I’m exhausted after 9. My legs were not happy with me Sunday, but I’ve bounced back much quicker than I thought I would, which gives me hope. No soreness today! We can chalk it up to chocolate milk, right? (By the way – yummiest recovery I’ve ever had! I WILL be chugging it after the race.)

I’ve nailed down my nutrition plan for my first half marathon using gummy chews either from Honey Stinger (thanks for the tip, Mark!), or the CLIF Shot Blocks. I’ve found GU’s or gels in general are the nastiest thing I have ever ate, and though they do not make me feel nauseous, they are warmed up with body heat in my belt. If I had them ice-cold or cool, I could probably choke them down, however I’m just not a fan. Another bonus with the Honey Stingers? The chews give me something to “chew” on, keeping me busy during at least a portion of the run. I plan to fuel up around the 4^th mile, as I find I fade around 6 or 7 if I don’t, as well as probably around 8, and then again around 11 if I’m feeling zapped to give me a needed boost to get to the finish line.

I’m a little worried about hydration personally, though there will be plenty of water and Gatorade, or “Pit Stops” as they named in true racing fashion, stationed along the route about every mile. I just need to make sure I swing by, and keeping drinking so I don’t get dehydrated. You can see them in the course map below:

If you aren’t exactly familiar with the map above, here’s a handy video from 2012, showing the course I’ll be running on:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sB6uQfNXJ3s&feature=youtu.be

The OneAmerica 500 Festival Mini Marathon, or the “Mini” as it’s called, is the nation’s largest half marathon, with it being the 7^th largest running event in the United States. Just as it’s sang to kick off the Indianapolis 500 every year, “Back Home Again in Indiana” will be performed before the first gun sounds. Kicking off my favorite month to be a Hoosier, the Mini Marathon is kind of the first “event” in a month-long celebration of our proud racing heritage. It makes me giddy just thinking I’ll be a part of it this year!

You’ll also be able to track me on the course while I’m running using the new app created for the Mini Marathon! More info located here:

http://www.500festival.com/RunnerTracking

You can find me by my bib number (26446), and each time I cross one of the 4 splits (one being the famed yard of bricks at Indianapolis Motor Speedway!), my timing will update through the app. (Though I’m not too concerned with time. Let me be clear. See my goals below.) Of course, I’ll have plenty of pictures through my Twitter account, too! I’ve enlisted Mr. K for his fab photography skills. (Inside joke.) Make sure to follow me @AshleyK199 :)

The race officially begins at 7:45a, with Wave 1 of runners taking off at 7:48a. Me, being the super-fast, agile, elite runner (hint: sarcasm) that I am, I’m bringing up the back of the pack. I purposely over-estimated my start time at 13:00 min/mi, placing me in Corral W, or the 5^th and final wave of the race. I’m due in my corral by 8:30a, however I’m sure I’ll be there much sooner, too excited and nervous for words. Wave 5’s start time is 8:45a, with the last runner or walker due in by 12:48p at the finish.

I plan to (no brainer) stop to kiss the ever-famous yard of bricks at Indianapolis Motor Speedway, however my fear is that when I do I will, A.) break cadence, (it happened Saturday with a “pit stop” and I had a hard time finding my groove for the last half of my 9-miler), B.) not be able to get back up, or C.) both.

My goals for the day are pretty plain and simple for someone running their first half-marathon, with the exception of the last:

1. Finish. (Preferably in under 3 hours, but I’m not pressuring myself on timing. I just want to finish.)

2. Don’t die. (I have a friend who is a nurse working the medical tent for the race. I love you Erin but no offense, I don’t want to see you Saturday. I know you will understand!)

3. Stay off the trail bus. (The trail bus runs at 18:00 min/mi, gathering up those who either are too slow of set timing regulations or those who cannot finish the race, in order to clear the course to resume normal traffic operations after the Mini in Indianapolis.)

4. Pucker up, butter cup! We’re kissing bricks! ;)

I’m going to need all of the luck and determination I can get to get through this. It’s not an easy feat, but I’m excited none the less. The course is packed with more than 80 bands and forms of entertainment, as well as a spirit competition occurring at the same time, with several cheer squads from high schools across the state. I’ve been told (shoutout and many thanks to@DJDaveSnow) to make sure my ear buds are out of my ears before I enter Indianapolis Motor Speedway. Bagpipers, yeah!

In the end, I’ll have a shiny new medal to adorn my beautiful plaque on my wall that says, “Celebrate every mile,” given to me by a dear friend (I still miss you Robin!) before she moved.

In addition to the medal, I’ll get a free beer, chocolate milk, plenty more freebies, a lap around the beautiful IMS (on foot), and the dirtiest kiss I’ve ever had plus a post-race party; but it’s much more than just material things I can touch or hold. It’s the sense of accomplishment, knowing that my drive and determination have paid off, that I can proudly say I went from 250 lbs to a half-marathoner in less than five years, and the fact that I can do anything I put my mind to. That means much more to me than you’ll ever know…

Blogger’s Note: I want to thank Mr. K himself for being my rock of support through training; the laughing about “coming to Jesus meetings” and “pit stops,” holding me while I’ve cried over a knee injury or foot issue. He mentioned last night how proud of me, and that all I could do was apologize for being so stubborn and “determined.” It’s what makes our marriage tick, I suppose?

22 Days and Counting

I seriously could puke right now.

Today's the day those running the 500 Festival Mini Marathon received their confirmation information, wave/seeding info, and bib numbers for the event, along with a participation guide.

...apparently, they are okay with me running. That's good to know?

I'm in the last (5th) wave, starting at 8:45am, and hopefully crossing the finish line no later than noon-ish, I hope. (Just in time for beer and a lunch. Ha!)

To be honest - I'm really, really nervous. It's my first half marathon, so I expected some nerves, but am I ready? No. Absolutely not. (Hell no would actually be more of a proper response.) My training has hit a wall, I'm getting burnt out, and my foot still hasn't fully healed, while I've also not been "officially" cleared to run from the doctor just yet, with 22 days to go. (Um, yeah?)

I should really quit complaining, right?

Honestly, I have the worst gut-feeling this is going to be bad, awful, or just plain embarrassing. I'm not happy with my training, I'm not happy with not running, and I'm supposed to be running 11 miles this weekend.

Am I being to hard on myself? Yeah, probably, and I should just shove everything aside and enjoy the moment. I'm not sure what happened to the girl who just wanted to stay off the (18 min/mile) trail bus, not die, and cross the finish line healthy and happy. Screw time! Nothing wrong with that at all.

(But Competitive-Ashley isn't thinking that way. She needs to shut it, right?!)

I honestly think I've let me competitiveness get the best of me, which has burnt me out quickly while also filling my thoughts with negative and toxic worries. So my goal for the next 22 days? Not care.

Be happy. Take it all in. Enjoy it. Learn from it. Don't die. Listen to the bagpipers while I enter Indianapolis Motor Speedway for my lap around the track and smooch of the famed bricks (thanks for the tip, Dave!). And smile when you cross the finish line.

“Much of what we consider valuable in our world arises out of (these) one-sided conflicts. Because the act of facing overwhelming odds, produces greatness and beauty.”

― Malcolm Gladwell, David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants

 

Blogger's Note: I'll have more details in the coming days; a race preview of the Mini. And hopefully by then a not so, "woe-as-me" post. Negative Ashley can take a hike and never come back. ;)

The Peanut Gallery

I've been meaning to write this blog for sometime, addressing one thing in particular that absolutely drives me up a wall during my weight loss journey. But let me first say that I appreciate all of the support my friends, family, coworkers, acquaintances learning my "story," and anyone else who has cheered me on in hopes of becoming a "better" me. It's still extremely humbling to know I have such an amazing support network behind me, and to this day, it still feels so undeserving. I can't begin to thank each and every one of you for all of the support, cheers, and positive thoughts you've given me, but I can say this: Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. :)

Now on to the post.... (Deep breath, Ash.)

The "Peanut Gallery."

It happens weekly; the questions about my weight loss I get are almost predictable, but it has been four years.

"How much weight have you lost?"

"How are you doing it?"

"How do you stay on track?"

"You must work out constantly?"

...and then my favorites (hint: sarcasm ahead):

"I bet you don't eat any cheeseburgers, do you?"

"Oh, another salad today?"

"Are you sure you don't have an eating disorder?"

"You mean you actually ate a carb?" (Yes, someone actually has asked me that, to which I replied, "I eat them everyday." *Smile. Walk-away.*)

"When are you going to stop losing weight?"

The last one has honestly been nails on the chalkboard as of late for me, with several folks asking/commenting, or telling me I've lost "too much." Just as a close family member suggested I had an eating disorder at Thanksgiving because "I've lost too much weight and need to stop," I'm starting to hear those words again from several, and I can honestly say they cut just as deep as the comments I had when I was "fat."

I know I should be comfortable with myself enough that I shouldn't hang on to these words, however it's hard. It really is.

But I want to make this very clear: I eat. I eat a lot. And I eat to fuel my body.

No, I am not starving myself. (I couldn't. I, A) am trying to be smart about what I'm doing, as I want to be healthy, not skinny, and B) really, really love food that much.)

No, I'm not working out every waking moment of the day. I have a life, and I like to live it, even if school is taking away from "social time."

If I know that I'm going to have a large meal (or one that might test my calorie maintenance "limit" for the day), I run. I run to eat. And when I mean eat, I mean eat. I can still put food away, and I'm not ashamed of it.


...but I can tell you what is happening: I'm losing inches, as my goal now is to maintain, but tone. I have quite a bit of loose skin, stretch marks, cellulite, or any other fun things that comes with losing 110+ pounds. It's not pleasant, I don't like it, but I'm working to improve myself so that I am happy with how I look, and who I am as a whole. I have not lost any weight on the scale number-wise, and honestly, I'm shifting my focus away from it. I will not let food or the scale rule me, as I want to be able to share the ever-amazing Mississippi Mud Pie I did yesterday with a close friend/former coworker and not feel bad about it. (It was delish, by the way. I don't feel bad about it, either.)

...and I really don't want you, the reader, to take this post the wrong way. Please, don't. I'm not trying to come across as selfish, but the words about being "too skinny" cut just as deep as when they were about being "fat."

Bottom line: I am not starving myself for "image." I promise you.

So I will leave you with this:

Be happy. Be healthy. But most importantly, be you. (And be happy with "you!")

Ready to Ring in 2014

Last year, to kick off 2013, I set a resolution of hitting my weight loss goal of 100 pounds, while entering my healthy weight range for the first time since who knows when. It certainly still doesn’t feel as if I’ve arrived at my “destination” of healthiness. Hell, I still feel I eat like garbage, or that I could be doing more than what I currently am regarding working out, cardio or strength training. But the only thing I can really think of is, “Wow. I finally stuck to a resolution. How ‘bout that?”

I’m honestly always at a loss for resolutions. I hate setting them. I never stick to them. (Except for last year’s, but who really does?) There’s always the, “I’m going to work out more. Go to the Gym. Eat better,” resolution, but I’m already living that as best I can. I could’ve gone with the, “I’ll go to more hockey games,” but my husband shot that down. I thought about being more “carefree” but who am I kidding? I wouldn’t be me without worry.

Mr. K and I were discussing what we thought our resolutions could be for 2014, just random conversation during the 45 minute drive home from Christmas celebrations with my family. After about five minutes of giggling, serious tones, and several, “Are you really going to stick with that?!,” I thought to myself, “I want to be happier with  myself.” So I ran it by him. He adamantly agreed.

I’ll be honest, even after losing 110 pounds, I haven’t been able to actually look at myself in the mirror and feel satisfied or happy with what I see. Mr. K hears it all the time, especially in the past few days after gluttonous feasts on Christmas goodies (and tooooooooooo many cookies to count). I haven’t felt exactly my best, and with surgery and not being able to run or really workout (my words, I could’ve worked out but I used it as an excuse), really put me down for the past few months. I try not to focus on the negative, but I still find it hard, especially on days I feel “fat.” (And lately, that’s been more than not.)

I don’t know where the negative thinking really comes from. Is it negative feelings caused by emotional scars from past experiences? Am I just not confident enough with who I am? (That’s improved drastically in my twenties, though. I used to NEVER go up and talk to anyone I didn’t know. Now? Hell, no problem! I’m one of the friendliest and approachable girls you’ll meet!) But I only ever want to feel good about myself, and if that means letting go of negative thoughts, the past, whatever, I’ll do it. In 2014.

So that’s my goal, my resolution. New year, new outlook.

Just as I was thinking and browsing Facebook on my lunch hour today, Dacia over at Run. Ride. Repeat., and also one of my favorite Twitter/Facebook/all around rock star friends, posted this bit from Mind, Body, Green, and I think really hammers home what I’m hoping to accomplish with my resolution for 2014. (You have impeccable timing, Dacia!) Here are a few highlights I personally want to improve upon most:

ü  2. Let go of feeling guilty for doing what you truly want to do.

ü  3. Let go of the fear of the unknown; take one small step and watch the path reveal itself.

Anyone that knows me, knows this may be the hardest. Thanks to Mr. K, I’m known as “The Planner.”

ü  5. Let go of worrying; worrying is like praying for what you don’t want.

Bahahahahahaha! Ok. Better.

ü  8. Let go of thinking your dreams are not important; always follow your heart.

ü  10. Let go of thinking everyone else is happier, more successful or better off than you. You are right where you need to be. Your journey is unfolding perfectly for you.

And the two I feel are most important overall:

ü  19. Let go of trying to fit in and be accepted by everyone. Your uniqueness is what makes you outstanding.

ü  20. Let go of self-hate. You are not the shape of your body or the number on the scale. Who you are matters, and the world needs you as you are. Celebrate you!

…and speaking of celebrations, this morning’s physical therapy session went amazingly well, with my PTA saying, “You won’t be here long.” Testing the waters and pushing my luck at four weeks post-op, I asked, “When do you think I can attempt to run?” …and she said…I quote, “You can run whenever you’re comfortable. Just take it easy, and know that you may be sore. Ice and Ibuprofen are still your closest friends.”

Wait. What? I CAN RUN AGAIN???

Of course, I definitely plan to take it easy. I can’t go out and run three miles flat with no problem. There will be problems if I even attempt it. I haven’t ran since mid-October and we’re approaching January.

So what’s my plan?

Currently, it’s cold. I don’t like cold weather and unless it’s 45 degrees with no wind but plenty of sun, I won’t run outside. I do have the dreadmill, and that’s where I plan to start, beginning Couch to 5k completely over. From scratch. Week 1 of 9. I am hoping that I can stay on pace so that come February, I can start in for half training, using a run/walk plan a Twitter friend passed on to me. At this point, I don’t know or even expect to be able to run the entire Indy Mini, I’ll need to walk some, but I just want to complete it. That’s what’s on my bucket list and at the end of 13.1 miles, just crossing the finish line will be sweet enough. Thinking about it gives me goosebumps, and if I want to run the entire thing, there is always May 2015. Or the Air Force Half, or the Flying Pig, both in Ohio in Fall 2014. We’ll see.

For right now, I’m just focused on completing Couch to 5k again, getting myself back in running shape to around 9+ miles per week average. From there, who knows?

The sky’s the limit. I know. I still can’t fathom losing the equivalent of a person, let alone running one mile, or even three, in one sitting. But I’ve done it. So now, I’m setting sights on 2014, and pray that it’s even better than 2013. If it is, I won’t know how to act!

Thank you for continuing to read my posts, as well as giving me support! It means the world to me! So, Happy New Year! I hope that 2014 brings you many blessings! :)

So When Can I Run Again?!

If you couldn't tell by the title, the surgery went so much better than I had expected!

And the snowstorm lost! (Remember when I said the weatherman called for 14 inches and we only get two? That happened.)

Mr. K and I got up around 4:15am, set to leave at 5, giving us over an hour and half should it be needed to get to the hospital typically just 40 minutes away. We made it by 6, beating the ambulatory care staff.

(Side note: While waiting for to get taken back to get prepped for surgery, there was a great article hanging in the waiting room about my doctor inventing a partial knee replacement alternative to the traditional. Little did I know, he was a pitcher during collegiate days, turning down an MLB contract with the Kansas City Royals to pursue medicine. I'm very thrilled he chose medicine, but he's a pretty cool dude. And one hell of a doctor.)

As soon as we got checked in, they took me back to get changed, interrogated asked me all kinds of questions, which knee they're operating on, do you have any questions, medical history, could you be pregnant, and on and on. The surgical nurse then came in, asked a few more questions, followed shortly by my anesthesiologist (who was sarcastic and hilarious for 6am, even as nervous as I was about him). He asked a few questions, kind of gave me a run down of his procedure, what he will do, (which then proceeded to freak me out a little more), and then joked he could give me a shot to quell any fears I may have. He said, "You'll be feeling fine in no time. You'll get 10 hours of sleep in about 20 minutes. We good?"

After waiting for confirmation Dr. R was in the parking lot (slick roads were an issue and they certainly didn't want to put me out and the doc not show), the show was on the road. As they took me back, they introduced themselves (even if I don't remember them), asked a few more questions, slid me over to the operating table, then asked me why I was here. After I proceeded to tell them, "I ran too much," my weight loss journey came up.

The last thing I remember is telling the anesthesiologist I lost my weight 100% by diet and exercise, no surgery, and joking about Charles Barkley and the, "Eat like a man," campaign from Weight Watchers. We laughed, and the next thing I remember is waking up in recovery with the, "I forgot to tell him about MyFitnessPal," train of thought rolling through my head. Oops.

I literally didn't even see Dr. R. I had to ask my husband if he was even there. I cracked up laughing thinking, "How do I know he was the one who operated on me?" to which Mr. K replied, "I talked to him. He was there. Promise. He really did it."

As crazy as it seems, everything has gone amazingly well since. (Almost too well if you ask me.) Mr. K spoke with Dr. R post-surgery, saying everything had gone to plan, removed the tear, took some pictures, and sutured me up. What makes me feel so much better though, is knowing that my knees are "of my age." Dr. R had mentioned to Mr. K that despite carrying so much extra weight over a longer period of time, my knees are in great shape for my age, and that he was rather surprised by the condition. (Phew....)

But now the fun begins...

(TMI alert...)

I can't shower until tomorrow. It's driving me crazy, and I do feel gross. The bandages are starting to itch. Instructions say not to remove my bandages for three days, however Dr. R did say I can tomorrow. I'll be allowed to shower, removing any bandages I have, covering up the incisions, do my thing, then wrap everything back up. I'm currently bandaged from thigh to toe on my left leg, with a huge bulge at my knee. I've been curious, wanting to see what the incision looks like, though every time I go to look, Mr. K swats my hand. My knee is quite swollen as expected (poking it just to see), however I've propped it up, kept it iced, and tried to limit myself.

I was able to leave the house this morning and return to some typical Saturday-normalcy, as Mr. K made an appointment for me to get my hair washed and styled before taking me to lunch. IT FELT GREAT. (Even if I looked like someone who belonged on 'People of WalMart.') I also got through the grocery store, though by the end of it, I could tell my knee was horribly swollen. I found that limit... And I honestly hate limits.

I am trying to limit myself, however I have have had ZERO pain, and only had to use crutches once, leaving the hospital. I've put weight on my leg since, only having a weird squish sound every once in a while if I bend it a certain way. )By the way, I really hope that's normal...)

My follow up post-surgery appointment is scheduled for first thing Monday morning, followed by physical therapy that afternoon. I'm not sure how much will be required, though with the lack of pain I've had, I'm confident, ready to start running laps (though I know I have a ways to go).

I can honestly say I don't understand why I freaked out so much before, especially knowing now how well everything went. I can't wait to get physical therapy started, and to get on my merry way and start to run again. It really feels good knowing the light is at the end of the tunnel.

I'm Always Up For A Challenge

The holidays can be hard for someone like me; someone who watches their diet constantly, or tracks what they can. I have to. Because if I don't, the feast is on. I'm not saying I don't vary or "cheat" sometimes (though lately it's been all the time...), and I've been a bit of an anxious mess the past few days due to the amount of food I may or may not consume tomorrow. I'm going to try to track, but two meals at two different family get-togethers? Who am I kidding?!

I still haven't been brave enough to try to work out, adding in some form of daily activity, for fear of royally screwing up my knee pre-surgery (for seven weeks). But what I can control is my diet, and lately, that's not been too pretty. I'm trying to focus more on clean(er) eating, less sugar, the whole nine yards, but it's been difficult.

Timing is everything, and with December around the corner, I had thrown the idea around of attempting #NoChocolatesDecember again, however I couldn't tear into that KitKat bar fast enough on January 1, 2013. And I like chocolate. A lot. (...and I wouldn't suggest No Chocolates December again during the Christmas season if my life depended on it.) :)

When I say timing is everything, I pulled up Instagram a few afternoons ago, and noticed Brooke over at brookenotonadiet.com is gearing up for another round of #SkinnySnoman starting December 1. I didn't do it last year, but looking over how points are awarded, I need this right now!

PERFECT TIMING, Brooke!

You can check everything out over at her website, selecting the Skinny Snowman Challenge tab at the top of the page.

Apparently there is a grand prize too? I'll behave if I'm trying to win something. I'm highly competitive ;)

So what is the Skinny Snowman Challenge you ask?

Focusing on losing or maintaining weight, the challenge awards points for choosing a healthier lifestyle, including but not limited to things like drinking 64 oz. of water daily, eating three servings of fruits and three servings of vegetables daily, Meatless Monday (which I'm super excited to try), tracking what you consume, and adding in 30 minutes of exercise or activity daily. But what appears to be my early favorite, having nothing to do with food but everything to do with motivation, you can earn points for writing down five positives about your day. NO NEGATIVES. (Which I desperately need.)

For each item you complete daily, you earn points, and at the end, whoever has the most over a month-ish's time, wins a grand prize! Each week has a max of 450 points, with a max of 50 points over the month's time (so you don't kill yourself or exercise to death).

I love everything about this challenge, and like I said, it couldn't have come at a more perfect time. Items earning points are something I mostly do on a daily basis anyway, however I want to be able to add exercise in again. I'm a little nervous I'll be behind the game with it, as I'm having the ever-fun knee surgery next week. It will come with time though.

I will try to update at the end of each week my points results, how well I did, what I want to work on, etc.

In the meantime, if you're interest, go sign up! It's super easy, and what have you got to lose? (Except for maybe a few pounds?)